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5 Toxic Habits That Sabotage Your Dreams

May 29, 2019
 

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Summary:

  • Gossip does nothing but make you feel bad and cause the other person to disrespect you
  • Complaining just means you could do something to change your situation but you're too afraid to take the risk to make it happen
  • Watching the news stops creativity and makes you live in fear
  • The average American spends 26.7% of their life scrolling social media and watching TV. That's almost 22 years of your life! 
  • Watch the video for the full training! 
  • If the results in your life aren't where you want them to be, watch this training video and analyze how heavily these habits play a role in your life! 

Inspirational Quotes From The Episode:

  


Transcript:

Welcome to The Path To Mindset Mastery! My name is Brad Bizjack! I'm a mindset strategist and coach, inspirational speaker and creator of Appreciation Academy and I'm on a mission to help online business owners break through all the negative self-talk holding them back so you can finally see the success you deserve!

And today, I want to bring up a topic that is so controversial in today's society because most people do the opposite. But do you ever find that it's tough to get motivated? Or that for some reason, you just feel negative when you share. Almost like you're always on defense, right? And you find that other people's opinions upset you and you just wish there was more positivity in your day?

Here's the thing. If you don't feel this way, you should absolutely pay attention to this episode because it will help you teach something to your team. If you find that you do feel this way, this podcast is going to break you through.

You're talking to someone who felt so frustrated for years. I always felt behind. I always felt negative. I couldn't get ahead in my business. Other people were crushing it. I'd numb myself with food, binge eating nachos at 11pm watching episode after episode of criminal minds. I lived a pretty toxic lifestyle that ate me up inside. I wanted to create big dreams, but something held me back.

And while my course Appreciation Academy teaches you how to reverse those thoughts and live a positive life without negative self-talk, so you can create the dreams you deserve, this podcast is all about the habits you might have in your life that are getting in your way without realizing it! So I'd like you to rate yourself on this. As we go through it, on a scale of 1-10, where are you with each of these habits? 1 being almost non-existent. 10 being these are daily (even hourly) occurrences. Are these toxic habits part of your life? And if so, to what degree? Because if you rate high on all of these, it won't matter how hard you work, you'll consistently fail. Ready? Take out your pen and paper and let's dive in!

People are addicted to just as much as they are smoking or binge eating or pornography. I think these habits ruin people's potential and instead of sending their life into a tailspin like drugs, it sends them to mediocrity, where they never quite hit rock bottom (where it forces them to change), but rather just dull, bored, unfulfilled complacency, which destroys dreams.

Toxic Habit 1: Gossip

Gossip is thought poison. But it's not like taking heroin. It's much more subtle. It kills you over time. And it makes your self-esteem crumble. Your thinking goes south. And it distorts the truth and makes us feel a weird feeling of guilt when we weren't expecting it. It's wrong 100% of the time.

Any time you have a negative conversation about someone, that's gossip. And what's interesting though, is that you'll actually feel that you enjoy it in the moment. It kinda feels good, right? It feels like it gives you power in some way to talk about that person behind their back. But here's the thing. Without realizing it, even the person you're gossiping to starts to decrease their respect for you a little bit. It makes you unlikeable.

And I get that it's easy, right? It's so easy to do it. But here's the thing. You are in control of your focus, and you are responsible for your life. Does gossiping about other people help improve your life in any way? No. And here's another thing.

The people you're gossiping about don't know that you're doing it, so it doesn't even affect their behavior. It just makes you feel worse about yourself. And that affects the way that you interact with them. Hurting people behind their back because you want to change them is always uncalled for.

David Schwartz said, "taking an ax to your neighbor's trees doesn't make your yard look any better."

Gossip doesn't make you better. It makes you worse. If you're an achiever and going after big dreams and goals, that's not going to create an environment for you to thrive! If you want a successful life, give up gossiping.

So rate yourself on a scale of 1-10. 1 means you rarely ever gossip. 10 means you gossip all the time. Be totally honest, because self-honesty is freedom.

Toxic Habit 2: Social Media Scrolling/ Tv Binging

This shit ruins dreams. A lot of people hope that one day, someone will save them or give them a new offer, and you "recover" from the job you hate" by scrolling social, or binge-watching shows to get your mind off of what you don't like. But if you were to take that same time you spend on social and binge-watching shows, I guarantee you that all those levels of life would increase way faster than you could ever imagine.

Let me share a statistic with you that will blow your mind. In 2014, Nielson did a study that showed the following (and by the way, I bet these stats are even worse now): the average American watches 5 hours of tv per day! Once we pass 65, it jumps to 7 hours per day! They took it and broke it down weekly.

Kids 2-11, 24 hours a week
Kids 12-17- 20 hours a week
Adults 18-24- 22 hours a week
Adults 25-34- 27 hours a week
Adults 35-49- 34 hours a week
Adults 50-64- 44 hours a week
Adults 65 + 51 hours a week

Based on the average lifespan of 78.7 years, that's 129,048 hours of tv over the average American life span. That's 5,377 consecutive days of nonstop watching tv- not even getting up to pee or eat. This is just 24/7 straight tv. Here's the hard part: that's 14.7 years of consecutive, no pee break, tv watching. And people wonder why they're not fulfilled?!

15 years think about it. If you have a 15-year-old, that means that you watch tv for the entire time they've been alive throughout your life.

This is toxic time... This is wasting dreams. This is boredom.

Then factor in social media! The average person in the world spends about 2 hours per day on social media- BuzzFeed, Twitter, Facebook, Instagram… that's 6.5 years on social media over the course of a lifetime if you average it out.

So when you add these together, that's 21.2 years of not even getting up to pee, not even eating, toxic, wasted time. That is 26.9% of your entire life wasted on shit you don't even give a shit about.

Think about this. The amount of time it takes your child to grow up and graduate college… that's how much of your life you're wasting if you're in alignment with these statistics.

I have a theory that insane amounts of tv lead to depression. It takes away our creative juices. And it makes us rationalize that we're too busy. Really!? You're too busy to change your life?!

You don't need a tv to chill. You need a purpose to be fulfilled. Now I'm not saying watching a movie for entertainment every once in a while isn't okay. I don't want you to think that all tv or social media is bad. I'm just saying that you're not busy.

You don't need tv to chill. Passion will light you up. Passion will entertain you.

But have you ever noticed that when you marathon binge watch tv, you actually feel more tired? That's because you're draining yourself with mindless bullshit. There is only a limited about of stimulus tv can provide. And sure, there is nothing wrong with a show here or there. I love breaking bad and game of thrones. But I chase my dreams first and use it as a reward for a job well done. I schedule my toxic time after a day of hard work toward my dreams.

So rate yourself. Scale of 1-10. 1 is that you're a rockstar at tv and social media scrolling and don't do it very often at all. 10 is that you suck at it and it consumes your life. Where are you on that scale?

Toxic Habit 3: Complaining

Third, and even worse and even more pointless is complaining. Are you guilty? I am. I've done it before, and I still catch myself from time to time. By no means am I perfect at this! We just need to remember that if you're complaining, all it means is that you're afraid to take action.

I'll teach you how to bust through fears in Appreciation Academy. But think about it. With complaining, you have to believe something better exists, right? Whether that's a better job, more money, a more loving partner, a better house, a better car. You name it. If you complain, it's because you think something better exists.

Complaining is only about circumstances that you could change, but you have chosen not to. Jack Canfield does a great job explaining this in the success principles. He talks about how we have this image of a better life or a better circumstance, and we really want it, right? But we're unwilling to take risks to make it happen.

Think about it- you only complain about things that you could do something about if you really wanted to. Jack gives the example of gravity and how nobody ever complains about it. But why? Without it, people wouldn't fall down the stairs or get in plane crashes or fall off cliffs. But no one complains about it. Why? Because you can't do shit about it. It just exists. Complaining won't change it at all. He talks about how we actually take gravity and then use it to enjoy life. We ski, snowboard, play basketball, etc. They all require gravity.

Another example is the president. Do you ever waste your time complaining about who's in office? And I say strongly, "Waste your time." Isn't it still true? You can do something about it. You could move to a different country. You could choose to not pay attention to politics (which I'll talk about in a little bit). But you're afraid. You're afraid of all the consequences of moving because your family and everything you know is here. And you're afraid to flood your mind with something other than this because complaining about it makes you feel significant. Either way, you could still do something about it, but you don't.

So the circumstances you complain about are situations you can change, but you've chosen not to. And you need to take responsibility for that! So quit bitching about things. It's just that it involves some risk- being unemployed or being laughed at or being wrong or being single. So what people do to avoid this risk is they just stay in one spot and complain.

Any time you hear someone complain about something, it is a reference point for something better that you would prefer, but you're unwilling to take the risk in doing.

Have you noticed that you complain to people that can't do anything about your circumstance? Because it's easier and less risky to tell them about it. It takes courage to tell your boss you don't like the way they micromanage you, so you text your girlfriend about it instead, which only results in you feeling hopeless and worse about your day, right?

So your solutions are simple:
1. Accept where you are and stop bitching
2. Accept the risks that come with changing your life and act.
3. Replace complaining with making requests and taking action that will lead you to what you want.

If you find yourself in a situation you don't like, either work to make it better or leave. It's 100% up to you to make the change and do something different. The world doesn't owe you shit. You have to create the world that you want, guys! Complaining doesn't only bring you down. It ruins other people's day. When you complain, you focus on what you don't want, so you create more of it! It's time to change that.

So, scale of 1-10, where do you fall here? 1 is that you complain a lot. This can be to your spouse. This can be by posting on social media. Whatever it is, where do you fall on a scale of 1-10? Rate yourself.

Toxic Habit 4: Blame

This includes blaming yourself. And this is even worse than the other 2 combined.

Quote: Wayne Dyer, "all blame is a waste of time. No matter how much fault you find with another, and regardless of how much you blame him, it will not change you."

If you blame someone or something, you need to remember that it's you that responded the way you did.

You can blame an event for your lack of results. You can blame the weather, the economy, your job, being broke, the president, your family history, etc. But this would be a load of bullshit because it's never a lack of resources that's the problem. It's a lack of resourcefulness. You can simply change the way you respond to the events in your life until you get the result that you want.

Everything you experience today is a result of the choices that you've made in the past. Even if something traumatic happened, you don't control it obviously, and it wasn't fair! But you do control the meaning you put behind it and how you respond.

You'll never be successful as long as you continue to blame someone or something for your lack of success, and that includes yourself!\ if you are gonna crush it at life, you have to understand the truth. It is you who took the actions or didn't take the actions. It is you who thought the thoughts or didn't think the thoughts. It is you who created the feelings or didn't. It is you who responded to the situation the way you did! It is you who made the choices to get you where you are now! Even if something tragic happened, you responded in a certain way, didn't you?

You are why you are where you are right now. So rate yourself. 1 is that you accept full responsibility for your life. 10 is that you blame others, yourself, or events for why you are where you are.

And you might be going, "Brad, what's the difference between taking responsibility for my life and blaming myself? Responsibility is a presence focused mindset and a commitment to change what you do go forward. Self-blame is a past focused mindset that gives yourself a way out of changing anything."

Toxic Habit 5: Watching The News

And finally, we have habit number 5. This is one of the most toxic habits you can instill in your life. This does two things. It ruins your productivity and creativity. And it makes you less likable. And that's watching the news.

Think about it like this- your body is what the body is fed. That makes sense. Well, the mind is the same way. The mind is what the mind is fed. Mind food isn't stuff you get at the grocery store. It's your environment. It's whatever goes in your eyes and ears. And whatever comes in goes out. The kind of mind food that we consume determines our habits - it determines our attitudes - it defines our personality.

Think of it like a body-builder. If someone in peak physical condition, they have a specific way they feed their bodies so they can handle the resistance they put on their muscles. In the way, to achieve our dreams (the metaphor is to be in peak physical condition), we need a specific way to feed our minds so we can handle the problems (our life's version of resistance) that we push against to sculpt the character of who we are and where we ultimately end up.

So where am I getting to with this? You need to protect your mind. You need to make sure that you stand guard of your thoughts. And just like our peers in our physical environment, what we consume affects our mental environment.

That's why I don't ever watch the news. I can't afford to fill my mind with negativity and you can't either. I have too much to give, and I don't want those thoughts to be poisoned by media companies that sell fear as their main product.

I haven't watched the news in 7 years. And I'm doing just fine. In fact, I'm doing more than fine. I'm doing fantastic!

We need to stand guard at the gates of our minds to make sure that whatever we're allowing to enter will cause our lives to be enriched, that the experiences we go after will actually add to our possibility. We have to do this proactively.

The news is a horrible representation of reality. It's not reality. It's misconstrued things that are taken entirely out of context.

Why is this?

You must understand that the news is a business. It makes money from companies wanting to advertise with it. It's a for-profit entity. It's not a charity. Its job is not to inform you. So why would companies want to invest in news stations? How do they decide that? They decide on viewership. The more people that watch and click, the more money they spend.

So each news headline has an entire team of people trying to get you to click on it. And news stations understand very well that human beings react so much more to pain than they would to pleasure.

So each headline is individually crafted to instill fear.

For example, which newspaper would you pick up? The one with a headline that says, "5 newborn puppies adopted from the shelter today?" Or "south side of Chicago man arrested on charges for animal abuse and subjecting 5 newborn puppies to dog fighting?"

I'm making up examples, but you get the point.

And then on top of that, each news station, especially when it comes to politics, has a bias to make the other side look bad. It gets you to agree with them. So if you're watching your station, it builds more frustration.

And what do you do? You post the news article on social media, and you share how it's bullshit and use hashtags like not my president and all this other garbage, getting the news channel more clicks.

But even worse than this, it makes you look bad. Because you are flooded with negativity! So even if you post a cute puppy photo one day, if you share your political opinion the next day with a news article, you confuse people.

When you post this stuff, your energy is brought down, the people who have differing opinions feel judged, and you can't inspire them.

Like, step into the common sense corner for a second. If someone shares a news article, about politics, it makes you believe them and join forces, right? No! It doesn't even matter if the news article is factual, you still don't adopt their opinion because it's judgmental and negative.

My point in bringing all of this up is that it doesn't help people. It doesn't serve people. Since the mind is what the mind is fed, when you flood your mind with the news, what you're doing is flooding your mind with fear.

And if your mind is flooded with fear, can you inspire? Can you motivate? Can you uplift? Nope. Even if you operationally try to do it, it's canceled out.

So rate yourself on a scale of 1-10. Where are you? Do you flood your mind with politics, scandal, and murder headlines? Or do you flood your mind with the thoughts and insights from the most inspirational people on the planet? Rate yourself.

So, I bring all of this up for a reason. You don't need these 5 habits in your life.

What if instead of gossip, you chose to talk positively behind people's backs? How much better would you feel?

What if instead of scrolling social, you read a book from one of the world's most influential thinkers? Can you imagine how much more motivation you'd have?

What if instead of blame, you took responsibility? You knew that if it's gonna be, it's up to me. How much more would you go after in life?

What if instead of complaining, you took action and let go of the fear holding you back?

And what if instead of watching the news and political headlines, you watched uplifting stories, like TED talks or Ellen or The Dodo?

Life would change very very quickly because you'd become a beacon of hope for people.

My life changed when I changed these 5 things.

So, I have a challenge for you as we leave here.

Give each of them up for 7 full days. No gossip. No complaining. No blaming. No scrolling. No tv. No news and headlines.

You'll be blown away. The first couple days, you're gonna be like, "um what do I do?" But after a couple days, you'll get your creativity back. You'll get your courage again. You'll get your positivity back! It'll be incredible.

And imagine what you could create if you had that flooded into you every day? Life will never be the same.

So, I hope you found this valuable today, my friend. I hope you took a lot away. Rate yourself on those items. Where are you? I'm willing to bet that the higher your number is, the less results you have in your life.

So please share this with someone that needs it today. Share it with a friend. Share it with your team. Screenshot it and share it on your Instagram stories. Let's get this into more people's hands so we can inspire and help more people today!

Thank you so much for tuning into The Path To Mindset Mastery! My name is Brad Bizjack. Go out there today and every day and live your life with a genuine smile on your face! See you next week!


 

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