Welcome to The Path To Mindset Mastery! My name is Brad Bizjack! I’m a mindset strategist and coach, inspirational speaker, and creator of Appreciation Academy and I help online business owners breakthrough all the negative self-talk holding you back from your dreams so you can finally see the success you deserve!
And today is all about something that's actually kind of a little bit deeper than we normally go.
This is about life perspective and it's kind of morbid.
Have you ever noticed that you get so caught up in the need to be successful that you almost forget to be present NOW (at least in my life) I used to. I used to say… “When I’m successful, THEN I can relax.”
“WHEN I’m successful…WHEN I have money, THEN I can enjoy my life.”
Now think of freedom as something we are chasing and realize that freedom is something we already have!! People think that they'll have freedom later, but the feelings you think successes are going to bring you are actually available to you right NOW.
I didn't realize that. I thought I would find myself caught up working so hard over and over and over again, spending hours and hours every day trying to chase something and realizing nothing would ever be enough!! If I made a sale then I'd be like, “Well, what's the next one coming in?!” When I paid off a certain amount of debt… “When's the next amount of debt coming in?!” It was almost like I was so attached to “WHAT’S NEXT?!”
We forgot to be PRESENT with what's NOW.
So, I'm curious, do you ever feel that way?! You're so caught up in becoming successful that you forget what life's really about because at the end of your life… picture this for a second… at the end of your life, let's say like close your eyes…
Let's say you're 85 years old. Looking back, you're 90 years old. You're sitting in that front porch swing and you’re watching your kids go by or your grandkids go by on their bikes. What do you want to feel as your life comes to an end? What do you want to experience? What do you want to enjoy? What type of life do you want to have?
Feel the emotions of that for a second.
What does it feel like to have total freedom, not just financially, but emotionally?
What does it feel like to have amazing relationships?!
What does it feel like to be at peace and know you created something incredible?!
What does it feel like to have all that?!
What does it feel like to just enjoy life as you go?!
What will people say about you?!
If you're actually picturing yourself at the end of your life, what will people say about you?!
Will they say that you LIVED? You LOVED? That you were so caring? That you were uplifting? You were funny?!
What legacy do you want to leave with the people in your life that you care about? Have you ever asked that question? What do I want people to say about me? What do I want to leave as an imprint on this world? How do I want to help my kids feel? My grandkids feel? And feel that right now!!
If you would, just picture that and see what it feels like. Fill up with the excitement of what that's going to be like, to leave that imprint on those you love the most!!
Now you can open your eyes, but feel those emotions you felt and think (and be honest with yourself) how often do you feel those same emotions in your business? Do you at all? You almost feel like those emotions are only something you can feel at the end, but that's not true!! Think about this… I read this book called Thrive by Arianna Huffington. And in this book I read a very interesting quote that made a lasting impact on me.
Ariana said, “It is very telling what we don’t hear in eulogies. We almost never hear things like: ‘The crowning achievement of his life was when he made senior vice president.’ Or: ‘He increased market share for his company multiple times during his tenure.’ Or: ‘She never stopped working. She ate lunch at her desk. Every day.’ Or: ‘He never made it to his kid’s Little League games because he always had to go over those figures one more time.’ Or: ‘While she didn’t have any real friends, she had six hundred Facebook friends, and she dealt with every email in her in-box every night.’ Or: ‘His PowerPoint slides were always meticulously prepared.’ Our eulogies are always about the other stuff: what we gave, how we connected, how much we meant to our family and friends, small kindnesses, lifelong passions, and the things that made us laugh.” -Arianna Huffington
I found that really profound because it's true, right?! If you're in network marketing, no one's going to give a shit when you're 85?? If you were star diamond or not! And when you're on your deathbed, people aren't going to care that you got out of debt, right? And when you're up there in age and you're on your last leg, no one's going to care that you created a multinational corporation. No one cares about that!! They care about your character!
And don't get me wrong, that stuff's important! We need money. Those are very important things. We need success. That's very important, too!
But why do we spend so much time of our lives focusing on things that our eulogy will never cover?
We OBSESS over success! We OBSESS over money!! But we FORGET to put that same intention into the character of who we are.
So again, not saying don't work hard, but I'm saying how much time do you spend developing your character? And I'm not just talking about reading growth books so you can become more successful. That's not what I mean. How much time do you put into introspective focus on your character and how you're living?? How you're loving? How you're mattering to those that you love the most?
I'm just saying there's more to life!
Picture your family for a second… picture your kids! Do you spend time focusing on how you can make their lives better and make them feel loved?
Your dog, right? I think about my little dog, Oliver. He's got maybe 15 years total and he's already got six of them done. Right? And that's being optimistic! Are you soaking up the memories with your pets?
Are you spending your time putting an inward focus on how to make that part of your life better? Because if you look at the wheel of life, there's your mission, your career, your business, your time, your relationships, your celebration, your contribution, your finances, your health, your emotions, right? There are all these different things about life. And most people spend 95% of their time focusing on ONE!
So, if you were to draw a circle- this wheel of life, you have your physical body, your emotions, your celebration, your relationships, your time, your finances, and your business, right? And all of them are different spokes on a wheel. Where would you rate your fulfillments in each of those spokes?! Chances are maybe one is at like a 10 and one's at like a nine, one's at a two, and one's at a three.
Well, if you were to draw lines across like a spoke in those sections, would that be a round wheel?! No! Could a car drive on wheels like that? No! A lot of people wonder why they're not where they want to be. They think “Once I have success, then I can do all these things and be this kind loving person!”
A lot of people follow this Have-Do-Be model where they say, “Once I HAVE that, I can DO, so I'll BE!” “Once I have money…once I have success, then I'll be able to do this stuff with my family and spend this time. So I'll be a great parent!” BUT it's the opposite!
It's not that way! We need to switch it to Be-Do-Have.
We need to switch it to “Okay, what do I want to have in my life, Long-term? Okay, great! What do I need to do to make that happen? And who do we need to be right now?!”
Most people think that when I have more business, more happiness, then I'll have or once I have more business, then I'll be happy. But it doesn't work that way! Your happiness creates your business because think about it when you're genuinely happy, what emotions do you show to your business with? More empowered or less empowered?
WAY more empowered, right?!
It becomes so much easier to live that way!!
And when you're more empowered, you're more creative!
And if you're more creative, you're more inspiring!
And if you're more inspiring, you sell more product!
The key to getting to where you want to go is to learn how to be happy FIRST.
Fulfillment doesn't come from success! Of course, we need to learn how to achieve. We need to learn that, but we need to learn the art of fulfillment as well. And fulfillment comes from the memories you soak up with your spouse, from the times you play with your kids. When's the last time you took a moment to slow time?
And what I mean by that is if you're in a moment with your spouse, let's say your spouse comes up to you and they’re being all lovey and you're just so caught up with your business and work that you don't soak it in. You give them a little kiss and then you get back to the office to work. Right?! I've done that!
But in that moment, does that actually make you feel good to get back to work, to hustle, back to work? What if we took a moment instead to slow time to realize that your business isn't going to die in two, three minutes if you spend just five minutes soaking up a memory with your spouse.
What if you pretend to get a little camera? You know, just like Jim and Pam (from The Office), what if you had a little camera and every single time something beautiful happened, you intentionally slowed time and you make a memory. How would your life change if you did that?!
Especially as business owners, we spend so much time in our business and it's all you focus on and you don't just LIVE. Do you ever schedule time for your spouse? Do you ever schedule time to be present with them, to put up Christmas lights, do all these things? Do you ever schedule that or are you always so rushed with your business? You forget to do that.
Your life is a reflection of your calendar.
And so, if business is your obsession and your entire calendar…well, you're kind of fucked!
But what would happen if you spend an hour with them? Undivided! Not on this thing where you need to check your social media and your Facebook to see if someone messaged you about your business, but you're actually PRESENT with them! When's the last time you took your kid on a date? Went out and got ice cream and just learned about their life? How often do you connect with yourself? Through meditation, through gratitude!
PLEASE hear me loud and clear, if you don't have 5-10 minutes to connect with your inner self (to focus on the gratitude you have for this amazing gift of life) you don't have a life!! So, everything you're working for is pointless because success without fulfillment is the ultimate failure and fulfillment comes from being grateful for where you are right now.
So, do a little reality check today. Do you spend time prioritizing and developing your character or are you so obsessed with success that you forget to develop your character?!
I'm telling you right now, FIRST and FOREMOST, when I started focusing more internally on myself more than just my business, my business group, I prioritized my OWN growth, my own character over my business, EVERYTHING changed!!
Most people don't get that. They obsess over their business and they have a laser focus on ONE thing and they can't see. There's so much more to life and that's something I've been blessed with is life perspective and I encourage you to do the same thing. Realize that you're never too busy for the people in your life!!
Are you spending your time obsessing over your business saying you don't have time to spend time with your kids because you're building this, and you refuse to schedule time with them?! There is a way to do BOTH.
You can be a great mom AND create a great business.
You can do both! It's not one or the other. You need to let of a scarcity mindset! You can have all of it. You just need to live it right now and when you do, the game changes forever.
It becomes so much easier to live, so much easier to love and your business gets easier to build!!
I'm telling you introspection and truly focusing on the character of who you are, being genuinely grateful, meditating, focusing on yourself, soaking up those memories, making every moment last a little bit longer, it will change your life.
When you get to the end of your life…when you ask questions like, how did you love your spouse? How did you hold them? How would you raise your kids? How did you raise your family? Did you get stressed about the stupid stuff? When you answer those questions…you're not going to care as much about the outcome of your business!
The only reason we fear like we NEED to get it done NOW and we fear what happens if we don't get it done now is a fear that we're running out of time. Time is a finite resource, meaning it's going to run out one day. And the only reason you fear of running out of time, it's because you crave LIFE.
That's why you crave life!
That's why there's fear there. And life is a CHOICE you have every moment of every day.
It's how many memories you create with your spouse and kids!
It's how much time you spend genuinely appreciating your life!
It's how much time you spend walking the dog and enjoying it!
And I'm not saying you have to spend eight hours a day doing those things, but I'm saying there needs to be an intentionality there and it needs to be regular because if not, you're asking yourself to suffer.
So, I hope you took a lot out of this day! I hope it causes you to pause a second and realize that the key to business isn't PUSH, PUSH, PUSH, PUSH MORE. It's actually to let go a little bit and to enjoy your life!!
AND I'm actually giving away an Amazon gift card for giving me a rating and review on iTunes!! So CLICK HERE to leave the review (whatever you feel is appropriate) and then email [email protected] with your name and email with the subject “Rating and Review” and you’ll be entered to win an Amazon gift card from me!!
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I'll see you next week.