There's only ONE reason you:
You already know what it is. It’s fear.
Self-awareness is the first step to change. You need to understand and have clarity on what you’re being dominated by if you ever want to change.
Your brain doesn’t have any interest in making you happy. Its only job is to protect you. It’s a survival based mind.
2,000,000 years ago, you were a caveman. And you haven’t evolved since then. You haven’t needed to. Back then, your priority was to eat, find shelter, and protect your family against wildlife and the elements of freezing cold. Those were your fears. You were focused 100% on SURVIVAL.
You were worried about the sabertooth tiger in the woods that was going to jump out and eat your baby, right?! You were concerned about how you were going to survive the freezing cold! You were worried about how you were going to EAT.
That’s it. Our brains are always looking for something to protect us from- primarily to keep us away from PAIN at all costs.
Jim Rohn has a quote that I love that says, “Stand guard at the gates of your mind or weeds will grow automatically.” What does that mean?
You don’t have those PRIMAL fears anymore, do you?
You have clothing to protect against the cold.
You have shelter to keep us safe.
You don’t have to worry about tigers in your living rooms eating your baby.
You have plenty of food.
Since those needs are taken care of, you transition that fear to emotion instead of actual safety. You feel the same fear of judgment as you did starving to death. You feel the same fear with posting vulnerably on social media as you did with a wild animal eating our child. You feel the same fear having a tough conversation with a loved one as you did with not freezing to death.
The fear that you feel isn't fake. It’s just misplaced.
It’s a waste of time since the things that our brains are trying to protect us from are no longer a threat.
You're reading this post from your phone or computer or phone right now inside with heat probably cuddled up on a couch with a cup of coffee in hand! YOU’RE GONNA BE FINE!
Fear is you focusing on the worst-case scenario. And wherever your focus goes, energy flows. So if you focus on your fears instead of your dreams, you’ll find them, They’ll be very real in your own mind.
So think about what you’re terrified of. Don’t over think this. You might label it as something different. I've found there are 3 common types of fear:
Stress is the achiever word for fear. If you’re stressed, it literally just means that you’re worried about what may or may not happen and the consequences of it.
Stress comes from you associating the meaning that something is more important than it really is. It’s you majoring in minor things.
What if you overdraft that bank account? Did you DIE?! No. In fact, most of the world lives on 900 dollars a year. That’s $2.50 a day. If you can’t pay your electric bill, you’re rich beyond measure. Because your electric bill is someone’s entire monthly earnings. You’re gonna be fine, so chill out.
What if you don’t hit your monthly quota in your business? Did you DIE?! No. You’re gonna be okay.
What if your entire company goes under and your spouse leaves you?! Did you die?! NO. You’ll still have a chance to rebuild. YOU’RE GOING TO BE FINE.
When has it not been fine? Have you ever had your safety, your shelter, your clothing at risk for you being late to work? Probably not. So you’ll be fine!
It’s just fear. Overwhelm is simple. It means you haven’t chosen a priority.
Overwhelm means you think everything is a priority, and therefore your to-do list is a million miles long, so you don’t know where to start.
How to solve overwhelm: Pick the top priority!
Guess what? When you die, you’re still going to have a to-do list, won’t you? You’ll still have things on the calendar for the next day, won’t you? So live now and stop worrying about it.
Ever feel that if you can't get your to-do list completely done, you won’t even start?!
As achievers, you and I have a craving for MASTERY, right?! I know I do! But mastery is not perfection. If you ever feel a sense of guilt if you don’t do something exactly as you planned, then you are a perfectionist.
You're going to have a very emotionally tough life unless you change.
It’s a lower standard than doing nothing. Because you’ll always be in pain even if you get your whole to-do list done.
Oh PS, if you REALLY struggle with perfection, definitely check out my video blog/ podcast called, "Stop Trying To Be Perfect!" It's SUPER helpful.
And there’s a chance you’re probably suffering from what I call:
That’s where you’re so overwhelmed because you can’t get it all done and you’re stressed out that you’re overwhelmed. And you can’t act on your perfect to-do list because of this, so you’re hitting the oh shit button, and then you find yourself on the couch with your laptop staring at you BEGGING you to change your life, but you just can’t find the motivation to do it. (Run on sentence! Because that's how you feel).
You feel depressed because you don't think you have control. And you’re pissed off at yourself for being depressed.
You need to break through that, or you’ll always be miserable. And you’re wondering how. You’re wondering if you have what it takes. And you’re wondering if it’s possible for YOU to break through because your situation seems so much different than others. It's not.
The trifecta is how I lived my life for years.
There are so many fears beyond this.
ll of them boil down to two things that I learned from Tony Robbins:
MAIN FEAR 1: You’re afraid that you’re not enough.
MAIN FEAR 2: If you’re not enough, you're afraid you won’t be loved.
EVERY fear you have can be boiled down to those 2 things. Afraid you aren’t enough and worried you won’t be loved. That’s it.
I’ve seen both sides. I’ve been dominated by it for years. And I’ve been free from it for years. I know how to cut through every one of those fears so when they show up (which they will) you charge head first into them.
That's how you create the life you really want.
Your challenge is that you haven’t learned how to be courageous in spite of fear.
And that’s exactly why you need to join my online course, Appreciation Academy.
If you’re going through the trifecta, that program is a must. It’ll rip away the layers of pain preventing you from your biggest dreams. It will silence those inner demons, and you’ll actually (finally) believe that you’re capable of your biggest goals.
Invest in Appreciation Academy. It’s how I went from drowning in fear, doubt, procrastination, overwhelm, and perfection to genuinely living every day with a smile.
And the results speak for themselves.
If the time isn't right for you, that's okay! Just know this program is ready when you are.
For now, share this blog post if you found it valuable today and make sure to listen to the podcast version for a deeper dive!
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In this (FREE) video training, you'll discover how to silence your negative self-talk and finally build the confidence you need to succeed. It's time to break through everything holding you back, escape mediocrity, and live up to your full potential!