Welcome to the path to mindset mastery podcast! My name is Brad Bizjack! I’m a mindset strategist and coach, inspirational speaker, and creator of appreciation academy and I help online business owners get unstuck and break through all the negative self-talk preventing their dreams. And I’m curious:
Do you ever feel dominated by fear? Like there’s nothing you can do about? Almost like you know exactly what you need to do, but when you think about taking action, you feel like if you can’t do it perfectly, what’s the point? Or maybe you get overwhelmed by all the things it would take to make you successful? Or perhaps you procrastinate and get stressed out when you look at that list? And you just kinda wonder, “Will I ever be enough to achieve this? Will I ever be worthy of my dreams” – and at the same time, you see everyone else crushing it and you’re sitting there wondering what’s wrong with you, making those fears even worse?
I’ve been through it. I feel you. My biggest weaknesses were perfection, overwhelm, and massive procrastination. It got so bad. I remember thinking I would need to do things perfectly and if I couldn’t do them correctly, I’d procrastinate, OR I’d take action and be miserable and worried the whole time that I wasn’t perfect. And when I procrastinated, I’d feel overwhelmed because to-do list of what it would take to make me successful just got longer and longer and longer. And even if I did achieve something, my mind like instantly went to feeling empty inside, like it was never enough. And I’d feel down and depressed. Like I knew exactly what I needed to do to change my life. I have every tool I needed. But I couldn’t get myself to act.
I was just scared. Scared I was never enough. Scared that I was meant to live a mediocre life. Scared that I’d never get it right. And I thought no one else understood. And I just felt shitty. And then I’d feel guilty about feeling that way, and I’d try to be perfect again, and it was this crazy 8 loop of perfection and guilt, and that led to depression and anxiety and fear and worry.
And I was face to face with my deepest fear mediocrity. Even though I pretended that things were great, I was dying inside. Do you ever feel that?
And one day, I thought about the life I wanted to create for Janiece. I thought about the dreams I had. I thought about how if I didn’t figure this out, I’d live with something far worse than mediocrity. I’d live with life with regret. I’d find myself a couple decades from now, not depressed, but just numb. Just empty. And I’d find myself on my deathbed wishing I could’ve been more. And that flipped a switch within me.
So I went on a MISSION to change my life. I crushed through walls and invested thousands of dollars in my personal growth and hundreds of hours into learning how to break through fear, and I DID. I figured it out!!
And now, life is fantastic. Truly amazing. I CRUSH goals and go after them with ferocity and joy and passion and through that process, I’ve served thousands of people through my calls and podcasts and courses and my clients are noticing their lives change and they’re crushing goals faster than ever before. They’re dominating their fear instead of being dominated by it. It’s absolutely beautiful.
And I get that you feel dominated by fear sometimes. I understand that you know what to do and it’s scary, and you don’t know how to get yourself to take action. So if you’re gonna beat it, you gotta understand that there are some really BIG myths about fear that you probably face regularly, and then I’m gonna share how to break through it after.
The first is probably the most important. And that’s thinking that you shouldn’t feel fear. That’s not true. You SHOULD feel fear. It’s never gonna go away. So if you fight it or resist feeling it, it makes it worse. And if you pretend it’s not there, it consumed your life, and you go nowhere. Fear is your brain literally doing its job. It’s so crucial for you to understand that your brain doesn’t really care if you’re happy. Your brain’s primary job is to protect you from pain. It’s a survival mechanism. So at any moment in time, it’s looking for what pain it can protect you from! It’s a mechanism from back in the stone age that had real primal fears about how you were gonna survive! And now, we don’t have those same primal fears. We don’t have to worry about surviving the ice age or living through a saber-toothed tiger attack. We’re worried about what someone is gonna think about us. We’re worried about sending that invite. We’re worried about making a vulnerable Facebook post! So if fear comes up, it’s your brain going, whoa whoa whoa don’t set that big goal, it might mean rejection. It might mean failure. Why don’t you play it safe? That’s just your brain doing its job. So if you feel fear about doing an activity in your business, it’s supposed to be there, and if it’s not, you aren’t pushing hard enough. So the first myth is realizing that it’s impossible to be fearless if you’re really going for it.
And another myth when it comes to fear is that fear will go away when you’re successful. That’s just not true. Because you’re always trying to grow. You’re always pushing for that next level! And what a lot of people make the mistake of doing is getting down on themselves for NOT being successful yet. Because we think that things would be easier if you were already successful. But it’s not true. The more successful you get, the bigger your challenges get. And so a lot of people hold back because they think that being successful is a prerequisite to success. It’s not. Fear is not gonna disappear when you’re successful. You’re just gonna do scarier stuff.
This isn’t about silencing fear. This is about using your fear. Because you might be suffering from the 3rd myth about fear.
And that’s the thinking that fear is fake. No, it’s real. Fear is very real. It’s just misplaced. Because what’s actually scary? Sending an invite to that top prospect of yours? Or living another year in mediocrity. It’s just perspective. Because focus equals reality. Whatever you focus on, you’ll FEEL. Even if it’s not real in actuality. For example, if your spouse is late arriving home, where does your mind go? If it goes to them cheating on you, you’re gonna feel very very angry, aren’t you? And you’ll feel it as if it’s REAL! You’ll plan out all the stories in your mind about what you’re gonna say to them. But if you focus on how if they’re in a ditch somewhere, that’s a whole different feeling, right? Then you feel loss and worry and panic! And it feels REAL even if you have no idea. And then if you focus on how maybe they just got caught up at the office or maybe they’re surprising you with groceries, you feel excited for them working so hard to provide for the family or for them surprising you with an act of kindness. So whenever focus goes, energy flows. And you’ll feel whatever you focus on even if it’s not true.
So let’s apply this to your business. What’s a big goal that you’re blowing up in your head. That might mean rejection or that they’ll judge me. And when you fear that, what do you feel? You feel like they already judged you, don’t you? So that’s what you focus on, so you literally create a reality based upon that story in your mind. Because what happens? You don’t send an invite, do you? You create all these stories about how you don’t know enough people or about how other people have it easier. Sooner than you think, you feel ALL OF THOSE things and so building a business gets exceptionally overwhelming, and you start to panic. So you do nothing out of fear. But what if you reversed it? What if intentionally change your focus? And you say, “these people are gonna be so happy that I invite them!” Where does your mind go? More motivation or less? More creativity or less? More or less panic? More or less stories about why you’re not enough?
Do you see that you control this now? You just have to change your focus. Because whatever you focus on, you’re gonna feel.
And the number 1 challenge you’re going to face is FEAR. That’s it. We both know it’s fear. That’s the number one challenge you’re going to face. So I’m gonna give you a fantastic tool to break through fear instantly. It’s a tool I created called, “Meaning Manipulation.” Basically, you’re gonna choose what these fears mean to you instead of being dominated by them.
But what are the main types of fears? There’s 5 that you’re probably thinking off. Stress. Overwhelm. Procrastination. Perfection. Rejection. Those are 5 of the main fears that you probably have regularly. So I’m gonna explain what these are, then show you how you can use “Meaning Manipulation” to overcome them very very quickly.
What is stress? Stress is just a fancy way of saying that you’re scared. It’s the achiever’s word for scared. That’s all it is. In fact, if I follow the trail of your stress, it will take you to your deepest fear. You’re stressed about not getting it all done. You’re stressed about all the things you have to balance. Let’s just be real about what you’re actually facing. You’re just scared of all your priorities and all the things going on in your life. That’s it.
And stress typically flows into overwhelm doesn’t it?
Overwhelm literally just means that you’re afraid you won’t get it all done. Guess what? When you die, you’re still gonna have a to-do list for the next day so quit worrying about getting it all done! You have a to-do list a mile long, and you’re looking at it going “shit how I am I gonna do that?” – That’s overwhelm. Wanna know how to solve overwhelm in a single second? Pick your top priority. And you’re probably saying, “Everything is a priority, Brad!” No, that’s incorrect. Everything might be important. But the priority means, what deserves your attention FIRST? What happens when everything is a priority? It means nothing's a priority, and so you do nothing, get no results, and feel shitty about it, right? That’s not a good strategy. When you pick the priority, you laser focus all of your attention on 1 thing instead of 50. And how much faster do you get it done? SO much faster? Does it increase your energy or decrease your energy? Increases. So do you get more done? You bet. And overwhelm is closely related to its twin friend, perfection.
Are YOU a self-labeled perfectionist? Perfection is just the fear of what happens if you don’t do everything perfectly right? And it typically leads you in 2 directions. 1.) You’re a master of achievement. But you’re friggin miserable along the way. Or 2.) You never start because you’re too afraid of what happens if you don’t do it right. Perfection is the lowest standard you can have for yourself as a human being because it’s impossible. You can’t be perfect. So it’s a horrible goal. Because you’re setting yourself up for a life of misery. Wanna a better goal? Excellence. That’s a better goal. Because if you strive for excellence, can you make mistakes? Yes. In fact, if you don’t make mistakes, you’ll never be excellent. Perfection is you trying to push away any sort of failure. Well, you can do that. But you’ll never feel happy, and you’ll most likely never achieve much. And when you combine the two – perfection and overwhelm (also known as massive stress), what do you do? You procrastinate.
Well, remember that fear is nothing more than the anticipation of pain. That’s all it is. So procrastination just means that you perceive taking action would be more painful than doing nothing and that you’ll experience less pain by doing nothing. That’s it. So how do you overcome this? You use pain instead of letting the anticipation of pain dominate you. Think about it. Ask this to yourself: is it more painful to take action? Or is it more painful to keep living in mediocrity? Obviously the latter. You can USE pain instead of having pain dominate you. Think about the consequences of LACK of action, and you’ll feel pulled toward action. So let’s take all these to the next level as it applies to your business and life. You’re probably then fearful of rejection.
It plays into your deepest, scariest fear that you can ever imagine. That you won’t be loved. But here’s the thing about rejection as it applies to your business. When you’re focused on being rejected, what happens? You don’t take action. So you reject yourself before anyone else can. And living in that fear just means that you’re taking the focus entirely off of serving others and you’re putting it back onto yourself. Think about it – you’re worried about what they will think of YOU. You aren’t focusing on serving them. Fear of rejection dwindles when you focus on service first. When you put someone else’s needs ahead of yours, you stop focusing on rejection, and you start focusing on service, which is the opposite. That’s where results come from.
So all of these. What do they have in common? They all have to do with something so much deeper than stress, overwhelm, perfection, procrastination, and rejection. They all have to do with not feeling like enough. They all play from your deepest worries. 1.) That you’re not enough to achieve your biggest goals or that you’re not enough for others in your life. And if you’re not enough, you’re afraid you won’t be loved. Most of all your fear stems from being afraid you won’t be loved.
So how do you break through this?
Remember that focus equals reality. So when you feel these fears, they’re real aren’t they? So let’s use “Meaning Manipulation” to change these. It’s a simple 5 step process to reverse all your fear. Watch these questions as we gradually change the meaning of your situation in your mind.
Let’s use the example of fear of growing a business.
What’s your mind saying? Well in this situation, it might be saying that people are gonna judge you or that you don’t know if you’ll succeed or don’t have the support you need from your spouse, or you don’t have enough knowledge, or times are tight, or people don’t care, or I don’t know enough people. Step 1 is to write out all the worst case scenarios playing in your head. And you have to write this otherwise the next step won’t be nearly as impactful.
I’m just a little scared that I won’t be successful. That’s it. So much simpler right? Before, it was all these stories playing in your mind going a million miles an hour. But if you just ask yourself the truth, it’s not nearly as intense. I’m just a little scared that I won’t be successful. And it’s true, right? That’s all that’s going on? And that leads us to step 3 because a lot of the times, the stories you play in your mind feel like this massive thing like your life is on the line!!
And will I die? Nope. I’ll be just fine. In fact, nothing bad can actually happen from this. So now, you’ve told yourself the truth, and you’ve calmed your fears down, and you realize the world won’t end if you take action. So we’ve dwindled the fear, now let’s get some motivation.
What will you feel if you wake up 2 years from now having the same lousy day? Who will you hurt by never really going for it? What disappointments or regrets will you have because you’re still stuck in life? Write it all out and feel that pain inside you. Is it really more scary to take action? Or is it scarier to not take action?
So, build even more positive leverage on yourself. What’s the best case scenario from this whole thing? I build my dreams? I’m so proud of myself. I prove that I’m worthy. I build complete financial and emotional freedom. The list goes on and on. The point is simple: Write it out and write the best-case scenario. Not only will you use pain, but now you’re also adding the benefit of what you’ll gain!
Invite 10 people today to my business opportunity. Go do it.
It’s that simple. Fear is the biggest challenge that you’ll face on your journey to greatness, hands down. But if you use “Meaning Manipulation,” you can FEEL a difference in your focus, can’t you? Remember that focus equals reality to the individual, even if it’s not reality in actuality. So if you do this, will you FEEL different emotions? Will you FEEL more positive intent? Will you play up a story about why you can instead of why you can’t?! You’re damn right you will. And if you do that, game over. You’ll take massive action, and you’ll crush your goals.
You’ll be absolutely UNSTOPPABLE in achieving your biggest dreams. But for now, share this. Share this with 5 friends today. Share this with a few teammates today. Hell, share this with your whole team. Can you imagine how much they’d benefit from being able to break through their fears? It’d be INSANE how fast they grow.
Thanks so much for tuning into the path to mindset mastery!
My name is Brad Bizjack. Go out there today and every day and live your life with a genuine smile on your face. Because you can. See you next week!
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