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The Killer of Joy

Dec 25, 2019

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  • “Trade your expectations for appreciations and your life changes in an instant” - Tony Robbins
  •  The recipe for happiness, unhappiness, and depression revealed
  •  How to break through and smile no matter what happens!
  •  Watch the video for the FULL training!
  • Watch this immediately if you get frustrated if people don’t do what you think they should do (in business, in marriage, in life)

Inspirational Quotes From The Episode:



Welcome to The Path To Mindset Mastery! My name is Brad Bizjack! I’m a mindset strategist and coach, inspirational speaker, and creator of Appreciation Academy and I help online business owners breakthrough all the negative self-talk holding you back from your dreams so you can finally see the success you deserve!

Do you ever have people in your business that you're going through and you're getting really frustrated as to why they're not doing what you want them to do?

Or maybe you see someone in your family… or your spouse… or your parents and the way they act is almost bringing up some frustrations within you!

I know when I was building a business, I would start off and I would think…

“Why don't these people build?!”

“Why don't they want to join me?!”

“Why don't people sign up?!”

“Why aren't my posts getting as many likes?!”… And I would get so frustrated with it, right?

And it honestly sucks the joy out of what you're doing.  It's almost like until they do something or take a specific action that you want them to take, you feel frustrated and stressed and panicked and it's not a fun way to live. And it leads to sitting on the couch (that’s what it did for me, at least).

It leaves us sitting on the couch wishing things were different, but not having the energy to do it because you're in such a low energy state that you don't know how to break through, so you start to get into a panic of “Why isn't it working out for me?!”

And it turns into this stream of learned helplessness where you almost think like things are harder for you or things are different for you or other people just don't get it and you feel stressed out all the time on a regular basis.

It's the killer of joy in most businesses!  And what is that my friend? The killer of joy in your business is expectation.  It’s expectations!

When you have an expectation of how things should be and they're not in alignment with how things are- you get frustrated, right?

I'm going to give you the formula for happiness right now!!

Happiness means your life conditions match up with how you think life should be. That's happiness! Think about any area of your life where you're genuinely happy- your life conditions match up with how you think it should be.

Then what's the formula for unhappiness? Well, it’s really really simple! Your life conditions (meaning the way life is right now) don't match up with how you think it should be. That's unhappiness!

And then there's depression, which is my life conditions don't match up with how I think it should be AND I think there's nothing I can do about it.  That's depression!

Let's go from unhappiness to happiness. How do we do that?! We can either change our life or we can change how we think life should be. It’s really simple! In my experience of going through life, I've learned that it becomes easier to change my life conditions if I change what I think life should be.

So how do we break through that? How do we change what life SHOULD be? This one is simple too!!... Trade your expectations for appreciations and your life changes in a single second. -Tony Robbins

Trade your expectations for appreciations and your life changes in a single second!!

If you're in a state of frustration because people aren't joining you or if you're in a state of frustration because your spouse isn't doing what you want them to do or if you're feeling frustration or anxiety because your to-do list isn't done all the way or if you're stressed out because of what your parents said… whatever it is… if you're stressed out about something- what type of energy do you bring to solving that problem?

Is it good energy or is it crappy energy?

Obviously, it's crappy energy, right?!


You bring panic!

You bring anxiety!

You bring despair!

You bring judgment!

You bring fear!

You bring all those negative things, right?!

And from that state, does that put you in a spot to be able to solve the problem? Are you creative when you're frustrated? Are you excited when you're frustrated? Are you passionate when you're frustrated? NO, not at all!!

You're not any of those things when you're frustrated, but we expect the solution to come when we're in that state and that doesn't make sense!!  Focusing on the problem perpetuates the problem. It makes it worse and your life changes instantly. Whenever you release that expectation of how things should be and realize that life is exactly as it's meant to be and you're exactly where you need to be… It's not wrong to be where you are. You're exactly where you're supposed to be!!

What I used to do is I used to say, “I should be somewhere else!” “I should be further along!” “I should be at that income level…that rank!” Whatever it was and I would say “I should or shouldn't be” so many times and it would leave me in this state of helplessness where I didn't realize what was going on.

I didn't realize why I couldn't break through, but I needed to realize in that moment that until I learned how to genuinely love where I was at in my life right now, there is no way that I was going to create the life that I wanted because… HEAR ME LOUD AND CLEAR… business success and money are not going to bring you happiness.

They're not!

Happiness and appreciation for the journey and the challenges… how you overcome the challenge, THAT IS HAPPINESS!

When you can start to love things that are not in-line with your expectations, that's where the game changes because then all of a sudden you start receiving the lesson. Life's trying to teach you to get you to the next level. You start feeling like you have a solution in-mind because focusing on the problem perpetuates the problem.

But when you focus on the solution, you break through so much faster! Right?!

So, one of the things that I absolutely love is the idea of if you want to lose weight, you have to love the body you have. Now why is that true? Because your body is the only thing that you have right NOW. It's the only vessel you have to change your life…

So why would you hate it?!

Just like your existing life right now is the only thing you have right now to change your life. So why would you hate it? It doesn't make sense!

In fact, your life is never going to change if you hate the life you have now. Finding appreciation for where you are right now is what changes the game forever. And when you find appreciation for where you are right now, guess what state you get into??

A Joyful, Happy, Playful, Alive, Passionate, Free, Grateful state!!

All these things and you feel amazing every day!! And when you feel amazing every day. How do you think that affects what you put up there on social media? How do you think it affects the way you interact with your spouse? How do you think it affects your invites? How do you think it affects everything you do in your business and in your life?? It changes everything!!

It's a GIANT leap forward because all of a sudden, you're appreciating things that are out of line with your expectations. You're changing how you THINK it should be and when you change how you think it should be, it puts you in that more positive state!! This allows you to find a solution, which allows you to CHANGE your life conditions!

So, all of a sudden when your life conditions don't match up with how you think life should be, you change how life should be! Get yourself in a great state that allows you to go from unhappiness to happiness because you find the solution. Does that make sense? So, you need to live in a constant state of gratitude because when something doesn't go your way or isn’t in-line with your expectations of how you think things should be, get grateful, have some perspective and realize how easy you have it!

Have some perspective that (and realize that if you're listening to this podcast, you're in the top 1% of the world! 2/3’s of the world lives on $900/year. THINK about that… could you imagine living on $900/year right now?!) You just feel panicked all the time, right? We DON’T have significant problems!!

In fact, I'm going to do a podcast pretty soon about the world's greatest addiction.  It's not a drug problem or an alcohol problem. The world's greatest addiction is to our problems, and if we let go of our problems, we start to appreciate where we are. We start to find the solution!

I have a practice that I do EVERY day for 5-10 minutes that makes me feel fully alive every day as I start my day!!

What's yours?! What's your practice?!

Let me ask you this because you're so stressed out because you're not meeting your expectations. You might have a gratitude practice, but let me guess is that when you're so stressed out about your day-to-day life that you rushed through your morning routine and check things off on a gratitude journal just to feel better about things, right?!

You're rushing through it! You don't actually take time to feel it in your heart!!

Take time to practice genuine gratitude for all the things that go your way and DON’T go your way. All the little things and the big things!! All the things that are exciting and all the things that are totally out of alignment with what you want!

When you're grateful for ALLLLL of it, it makes life really, really, really, really easy really quick!

And people will look at you like…How are you this happy all the time?! How are you this joyful all the time?! How do you feel so alive?! And how do you have such a positive mindset?! It’s because of the solution of GRATITUDE!

Just like Tony Robbins says… “Trade your expectations for appreciations and your life changes in a single second!”

When you do that, the game changes forever!! It changes forever, my friends.

So, as we get finished with this podcast today, I have a challenge for you

So, what I'd like to do is give you a gift today that will allow you to live in this grateful state. No matter what happens. If you're listening to this, I want to give you a book and that book is something that helped me tremendously live in a grateful state.

No matter what happened, it allowed me to trade my expectations for appreciation. It allowed me to feel alive and happy when things around me weren't going well and it's one of the greatest books that's ever changed my life!

 And so, I'd love to give that to you for free today. So I'm going to do a raffle. All you have to do really, really simple, takes two seconds.

CLICK HERE to head to my podcast on iTunes, give it a rating and review (whatever rating you feel is appropriate and a review, a written review about how this has made an impact in your life!)

**Do those 2 things TODAY. Then send a quick send a quick email to [email protected] and have the headline be “Rating and Review” and just insert your name and email address in the copy of that email.

If you do those things, I'm going to go ahead and enter you into a raffle to win my all-time favorite book for overcoming this expectation and living in a genuine state of appreciation! And I'm going to send that out to you this week. So, go ahead and do that right now if you feel so inclined to do it.

I truly appreciate that way we can get this message to more people, we can help more people. And if you're sharing this, what I encourage you to do is have you share this podcast started using the hashtag happiness comes first. #happinesscomesfirst  Because just like we talk about guys, business success and money don't create happiness. Happiness creates success. So, use #happinesscomesfirst when you share this on your Instagram stories, when you share this with other people, and it will start to get a trend going with people believing that…

“Okay, if I learn how to be happy, then my business will come to fruition!!”

Thank you so much for tuning into the Path to Mindset Mastery!

If you feel so inclined head over to iTunes and give it a rating and/or review. Share your praise about this podcast and how it's helping you in some way so more people can see this, and more people can benefit from it!

I'll see you next week.

Grab the FREE Masterclass: The Unstuck Formula
The 5-Step Framework for Serious Business Owners Who are Tired of Self-Sabotaging Their Success (and Sanity!) and Ready to Claim the 6-Figure Business Success They Deserve. www.bradbizjack.com/getunstuck
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