help online business owners breakthrough all the negative self-talk holding you back from your dreams so you can finally see the success you deserve!
Today is all about the lie detector test because…you are a liar.
Yep, you heard me right!
You're a liar and you're going, what?!! That's not very positive, Brad!
Yeah, it actually is because I'm going to share with you a tool today (I did not create it). It’s from James Wedmore. It's something that tremendously impacted my life that has helped me overcome negative emotions.
Have you ever noticed that when we feel negative emotions (at least in my past), whenever I felt a negative emotion, it almost felt like I shouldn't be feeling it? For example, if I felt anxiety back in the day, I felt like I shouldn't feel anxious and it made me feel more anxious and it got worse!
It's almost like getting pissed off at being pissed off. Right?!
And you end up getting into this tailspin, right? It feels like emotions are just something that need to run their course (like a virus). And then once it passes that I'd be fine… without realizing that really, I was just focusing on the wrong thing and I would let these negative emotions consume me.
I'm curious, do you have negative emotions that you kind of go to on a regular basis because your life reflects your emotional home?
For example, if you set the thermostat in your house, let's say it's up to 65 (I know that's actually cold), but let's say it sets at 65… well, if it's hot outside, your thermostat is going to lower the house temperature down to 65 degrees and if it's cold outside, it's going to raise that temperature up to 65- right?
Well… a lot of times what we think is that it's the external weather.
That's the problem in our lives.
The reason is because of where our thermostat is set. So, if your thermostat is set to 65 and something really, really amazing happens, say at like 92 degrees…well, if your emotional thermostat is set to shitty, guess what happens? You're going to downplay that! It's not going to feel as good.
And if something really shitty happens…well maybe you have the tools to get back to 65, but some people have their thermostat set at like 30 degrees, right?! They have a set really, REALLY, low and they don't allow themselves to feel great.
So, your job is to RAISE that thermostat reading.
You've just set the temperature to 80-90 degrees. Obviously, you're gonna sweat a little bit, but you have to do that because when you do that, it changes the game forever! So how do we do that?!
We need to realize that all emotions serve us. ALL emotions are a really good thing.
In fact, every negative emotion has a very specific purpose and you need to realize! BUT… a lot of people don't.
They think it's just something that needs to run it’s course and then they'll be fine once it's done. But here's the thing…whatever you believe in… God, the universe, whatever it is…I'm pretty sure that God wasn't drunk on the job when he created YOU.
Whatever you believe in (I'm not here to tell you what to believe), just whatever your beliefs are, go with that! They weren't drunk on the job when they created you, right?! Wouldn't you agree that in God's eyes or the universe's eyes, they want you to feel FULLY ALIVE on a regular basis?! They want you to feel great!!
Not saying we won't feel pain, but for the most part…don’t you agree, they want you to feel really, REALLY good?! Then WHY is it that we choose to suffer?!
Because in life…pain is coming. Pain is guaranteed, but suffering is a choice. It's a choice! It's optional. And a lot of us stay in suffering. We think that we are anxious; we are depressed No! Those are something we do through our physiology and our focus, right? For example, if I said to you right now, get into a worried state with your body, first gut reaction, worried state with your body, what do you do?
You can use your mind to get worried!!
So, with you, with your body, what do you do when I say, “Get HAPPY!!”?
What do you do?! You pop up! Shoulders are back! Chest is up! You're breathing faster! Your shoulders are back and you're feeling ALIVE! Right?!
Different emotions- different physiology. Same thing with your focus. If I focus on how I SHOULDN’T feel anxious, then the focus gets worse! But if I focus on something I'm grateful for… then all of a sudden the emotion gets better and it goes away. But I'd like to give you a tool that I learned from James Wedmore to make this happen so much faster.
It's what I call the “Emotional Lie Detector Test”.
And what that means is that we see our emotions as a lie detector. So if you have a positive emotion, it means you're telling the truth. And if you have a negative emotion, it means you're telling a lie and that's it!
And you're going… “That doesn’t make any sense!” Right?!
It will in a minute! So, truth is positive emotion and lie is negative motion.
Because remember… God wasn't drunk on the job! He WANTED you! He wants you to feel really good on a regular basis, right?! So, if that's true, I want you to think about a situation when you got super stressed out or panicked or worried or just as somebody who, or a negative emotion was involved, anything at all and jot down really quick what that was.
Think about that situation and what caused that negative emotion. I want you to ask yourself, if that's a lie, if you had to know what's the lie, you're choosing to believe in that moment, that God refuses to believe…what's the lie you're choosing to believe in that moment?? That God of the universe refuses to believe and in fact, do this with your favorite flavor of suffering, right?
For some people that's anxiety. “I’m an anxious person.” Bullshit! No, you're not!
Go to wherever you like to suffer the most and pick a situation that causes that or triggers that. Let me give you an example in my life. One of the events that I'm going to for my own personal growth is Tony Robbins “Date with Destiny” and it's in a couple of weeks.
And I was trying to think like…okay, I'd love for my wife to go with me to this because I know it would change her life. It would! It would help move us in a positive direction. There's a whole focus in relationships. It would help us grow closer together. All these amazing reasons, right? I'm like, just watch the documentary. I'm Not Your Guru (if it's for you). And after she watched the documentary, she goes, “You know what, if I went to this… I'd still be doing it for you and not for me.”
And in that moment, I started to get really stressed out, really worried, really anxious… thinking things like… “Well, if I go and I grow this much…what happens if you don't…are we going to grow apart?!”
I started thinking like, “Why don't you want to grow with me?!”
I started judging her for that. I started thinking like “When are we going to be on the same page when it comes to this stuff?!” Right?
And I have all these emotions going, right? So, I used the Lie Detector Test in that moment and it took me a little bit to remember that I had this tool in my tool belt, but I used it and I said it in that moment… “Okay, if I had to know what's the lie that I'm choosing to believe that God refuses to believe…” And I said to myself, “Okay, what is the lie that I'm choosing to believe that God refused to believe is that from going to a personal development event, my wife and I are going to grow apart.”
The lie is that my wife needs to grow in the same way that I do!
I started telling myself a lie. I started getting honest about the lies I was telling myself about the situation, right? Because is that actually true? Nope! Not at all! Because here's the thing. The next question of the lie detector test is, “Okay, what's the truth that God absolutely knows is true?!”
“Well, okay, what's the truth?!” I had to know in this situation going to this event and furthering my personal growth will allow me to become a better man for her AND growing in this way doesn't mean she's not growing. She grows in her own way! It's not my job to judge the way she grows. It's my job to give her unconditional love regardless of how she grows.
Do you think that that changed my emotional state?! Absolutely!!
Life is made up of events and the meaning you give to each event.
So, for an event that triggers a negative emotion. What's the meaning you're giving to it? Are you giving it the meaning of a lie?! Are you giving it the meaning of a truth? It’s totally up to you!
You can use this with any part of your life where a negative emotion comes up. You simply have to ask yourself, “Okay, first of all, we need to understand God wasn't drunk on the job and that I'm meant to feel FULLY alive most of the time, right?!” And sure, pain is a good thing because it makes me move. I just don't stay in pain, right? Cause it'd be a lie to say that you're happy 100% of the time, right?
BUT when painful things happen, we need to realize that we're responsible for changing it.
We don't have to suffer!
We can choose to say… “I'm going to use my tools in my tool belt to break through this and live a better life!” So, this is a tool that I've given you today to use!! God wasn't drunk on the job and He wants me to feel FULLY alive every day! That means that I must be lying to myself about what the situation means because I feel shitty. Does that make sense?!
So, ask yourself that when you feel negative emotions, what is the lie you're choosing to believe about the situation that God refuses to believe and what's the truth about the situation that God absolutely knows is true? If you answer those questions, you will feel different immediately.
But realize that it's not bad to feel negative emotions. It's not bad to lie to yourself!
Think about it. You believed a lie for a really long time. It's okay to believe lies. You just have to learn to change it. For example, Santa Claus hate to break it to you… Santa Claus is a lie, but you believed it for a really long time. Is that bad that you believed in Santa Claus? No, it's not bad! If you've been believing lies for a long time, don't get down on yourself. Don't get sad that this happened. Just choose instead to break through it and use your toolbox!!
So, I hope this tool really, really helped today. This is something I just learned recently from James Wedmore. I did not create this- James Wedmore did (give credit where credit’s due!)
Follow James Wedmore- He's incredible!!
One of my biggest teachers through his Business by Design program. He's fantastic!! And I learned that from him. So I want to share it with you because it's made a profound impact on my life. Whenever I feel shitty, I use that and it changes how I feel in an instant and I start telling myself the TRUTH.
And when I feel better, I do more things to make my life even better, right?! Because when you feel better, you do things more for your business, for your life, for your family, for your spouse, all these things, right?
So that's what you need to do here. So I hope this makes sense today. If you found this motivational or helpful or useful, screenshot this, share it with people, tag people to bring it to your team, share this with them so they can help their lives, too!
One of the things I'm doing every week is I'm doing a drawing for an Amazon gift card. So, if you go to the podcast on iTunes and you leave a rating (a star rating and a review), then email me [email protected] and say “Hey, this is my name, here's my email. I did the thing!” I’ll go in and verify it and you get entered into a raffle to win an Amazon gift card! Super awesome!!
It takes two minutes of your time. But I'm just trying to grow this thing so it reaches more people and we can help serve more people with mindset. Help them break through. And that happens through you guys sharing this is making a profound impact on your life.
Thank you so much for tuning into the Path to Mindset Mastery!
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I'll see you next week!