Society tells us that marriage has to be hard and is something you need to fight for. It's a classic bit of cultural conditioning! However, if you have the right set of principles and the right philosophy, Marriage is easy!
This training is for EVERYONE in a romantic relationship and isn't restricted to marriage. In this course we will cover how marriage can become easy with the three following steps:
Before we go into the content, I would like to cover the common objections I get to this coaching session:
Firstly, I do now have kids - Lily was born in September this year but at the time of this recording she wasn't yet born. However, it doesn't matter either way, as the content of this video isn't my own! It is the teaching of Tony Robbins and other successful high-performance coaches and teachers who have kids themselves and have seen results from this training.
1. What makes relationships fall apart?
Relationships do not fall apart from a lack of love - they fall apart from a lack of attraction or polarity, (think magnets!) Couples push each other away!
For this lesson, I am going to use examples of male and female "energy". However, this is not specific to gender roles but allows me to use examples more easily.
What does male energy typically do to female energy to push them away?
What does female energy do to male energy to push them away?
Tony Robbin's Five Relationship Stressors
2. How to Fix it
I have good news for you...
It only takes ONE person to save a marriage or relationship! That's right, ONE! If they are committed to taking 100% responsibility for it, even the things that aren't fair.
What about cheating you ask? Yes, cheating too. Whilst you can't obviously take responsibility for what your partner might have done, you can take responsibility for what you are doing about it going forward.
Think about it, if you take 50% responsibility for you job or anything else in your life, it is destined to be mediocre.
Give vs Get Mindset - Tony Robbins, Date with Destiny
There are three types of relationship, One-dimensional (1D), Two-dimensional (2D) and Three Dimensional (3D)
1D - This is a relationship where you get your needs met but you are only focused on yourself and what you are getting.
2D - A 50:50 relationship = a recipe for roommates. Where you will only give love if you are shown, love. It is a losing proposition.
3D - Where your fulfillment comes from meeting their needs. The by-product of this is usually that they also want to make your life better! Think about the beginning of a relationship when you were courting - your objective was to make their life better so they would accept you as a partner - you marketed yourself!
The focus changed from what you were GIVING to what you were GETTING.
3. The Big challenges
Check your vibration! Another huge factor in relationships is the energy you bring to the table, as it also affects and rubs off on your partner. The key is not to match your partner's energy, but to increase it. I challenge you to think about what your relationship would be like with high energy? One person bringing energy to a relationship can make it thrive and prime it to work. This useful quotation from Wayne Dyer, "Live in the feelings of your wishes," reminds us that your emotions are not a byproduct of what happens in your life, they are what you bring to your life.
Expectation, like energy, is also a problem. One of my favourite quotes is "Trade your expectations for appreciations and your life will change instantly," and this could not be more true for relationships. The things you criticise your partner for are things you would probably automatically do if you didn't expect them to do it. Remember: Requests give the direction for love, demands stop the flow of love."
I'll see you next week.
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