Do you feel jealous of their accomplishments (even though you wish you could be proud of them)?
Insert your inner critic that says, “I could never do that.”
I compared for years.
The hardest part of failing for so long we’re the people that seemed to pick it up right away. It seemed easy for them.
I was building my business with the pedal to the metal for years...
(and when I say pedal to the metal, I don’t mean I was actually working my business. It was just all I thought about. Then I got burnt out. If that's you, check out my blog post, “Burnout Prevention. 4 Ways To Stay Passionate When You Keep Failing.”) SUPER helpful.
I was slamming down on the gas trying to go as fast as possible, but NOTHING worked. I was death gripping the steering wheel, slamming down on the gas, tires screeching, smoke everywhere, but I went nowhere.
I was stuck.
Then I'd see these cars outside my window flying by me. And they just got on the highway like 2 months ago! Not fair.
At first, I’d lie and told myself I was happy for them. Deep down I was just jealous. I was afraid that I’d never be able to achieve it.
Even if I did hit a goal, I never celebrated it. My mind would say “Yeah right. Okay cool, you achieved something, but it’s not like you actually deserve it,” and the success that I had felt hollow.
Here’s what you’re doing wrong: Nothing.
See, you want the success that other people have, but you’re fighting for it with the same mindset that kept you stuck. That doesn’t make sense.
You need to pretend you’re brand new and adopt a new mindset. The people that are crushing their dreams have a great mentality. That’s why they’re successful.
It’s apples and oranges.
If you keep thinking the same way you’ve been thinking, you’re always gonna be stuck. Those people are succeeding because they think differently.
Your challenge: you keep focusing on what you don’t want.
You’re building up a story in your head. Instead of asking these successful people for help (which they’d GLADLY GIVE YOU), you wallow and feel sorry for yourself.
You think they have something that you don’t.
They want to help as many people as possible to become successful.
A lot of people believe that successful people hide their secrets. Nope! That’s a scarcity mindset.
I’ve been around a LOT of unhappy, unwealthy, victim-minded people in my life.
I’ve been around a lot of successful, wealthy and responsible people in my life.
The unhappy ones:
The successful ones:
Sure, some outliers have financial means, but they aren’t happy. And in that case, they’re not wealthy at all. They’re dirt poor.
Financially wealthy and happy people want to teach you how to be successful.
How does this apply to comparison?
Because the people you’re measuring up against would GLADLY tell you what they did to get there.
They’d gladly give you help if you reached out. You'll never hear a successful and happy person talk down to someone else. Never. You’ll only hear unsuccessful people do that.
You just need to let go of the sob story playing in your mind. You need to stop saying, "poor me" and start focusing on how that person is an INSPIRATION.
Comparison takes the fun out of what you do.
If the fun is missing from your business:
Why would someone add something stressful to their plate when stress is what they’re trying to escape from?
Focusing on why you’re not as good as them has nothing to do with what they have/ you don’t have. It has to do with the high school fears you hold onto.
Failure, anxiety, pain, and depression? That shit’s complicated.
If success seems like it’s something that’s so hard to achieve/ overwhelming, it’s because you think it’s hard.
You’ll get whatever you expect.
If you expect life to be hard, guess what? It will be.
If you expect life to be easy, it will be easy.
Simplicity leads to success. This is why the rich get richer: Success is SIMPLE.
Complexity is the enemy of execution. This is why the poor get poorer. Because there are so many things clouding their judgment.
If you compare to others, you'll believe it's not fair that some people have success and you don’t.
This might be tough to hear: IT IS FAIR.
It’s absolutely fair. They’ve adopted the mindsets that will bring them abundance. You haven’t. So the solution is simple.
Change your mindset.
Stop asking yourself the disempowering questions that keep your life so stuck.
Successful people deserve all of it.
Successful people are not the enemy.
Learn from them instead of hating, judging or envying them.
Ask for help. They want to help you!
Use their success as inspiration instead of feeding your desperation.
So flashback to the beginning when I gave you the car metaphor.
Remember when I was death gripping the steering wheel, slamming my foot down on the gas pedal, and not understanding why I was so stuck? My life didn't change when I pushed down harder. It didn't change when I bought a new car. It didn't change when I took my car to the mechanic. I didn’t have to find some radical solution to getting to my car to move.
Remember: failure is complicated. Success is simple.
All I did was release the emergency brake.
So, non-metaphorically speaking, what does that mean?
It means that I:
My life changed so quickly. What used to be impossible became my reality. I was that person flying down the highway helping the cars stranded on the side of the road.
You can be that car too. Life changing isn’t an external job. No one is coming to save you. It’s an internal job.
In fact, you don’t even need to change your life.
You just need to change how you live your life.
Comparison is the thief of joy. When you adopt these principles, you start having fun again. When you have fun and live every day with a smile, business and success get so much easier.
Remember: Regret is complicated. Success is simple.
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