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Have you ever wondered why it’s so hard to create lasting change in your behavior? The reason is because of your identity and the beliefs you have about who you think you are. And that’s what we’re going to talk about today: why change doesn't seem to last for a lot of people.
I want to start today’s lesson by talking about crabs. Hermit crabs, specifically.
They're fascinating little creatures. Why? Because when a hermit crab begins its life, it's got this little protective outer coating, its shell. As it grows, and its identity expands, it comes up against this hard outer shell. The crab has two choices at that moment.
Choice #1: It can stay in the shell and deal with a dull achy pain for the rest of its life.
In human terms, this is when someone rationalizes their life is harder and will find themselves consistently in the same place in life because they don’t want to change.
Choice #2: It can leave the shell to find a bigger one.
In human terms, this is when someone gives themselves permission to leap and leave their comfort zone.
Here’s the thing about leaving your shell to find a bigger one, and you choose to expand your identity: There's a risk. Keeping with our crab metaphor, you can think of that risk as a barracuda that might come down and eat you (or whatever fish that eats hermit crabs).
As you make this change, going from shell to shell or expanding your identity, it's incredibly important that you're around people that have your back.
That’s why being in a place like Rewired LIVE can help you! Because you’ll be surrounded with other people who have their big shells to protect against the “barracuda” and can protect you in your vulnerable state.
The shell is your ego. It's what encases the identity and keeps it safe. Our identity is always meant to expand into more. So, when it bumps up against that shell, you have a choice to stay safe or to take a leap of faith. If you take a leap of faith and go it alone…. you're going to get eaten and find yourself running back to your smaller shell. You need to be around people that are going to have your back as you find your way into the new shell, because the process isn’t always fast.
Unfortunately, most people never try to expand their identity or give themselves permission to leap. Instead, they make the mistake of trying to change their environment.
Now that we understand ego and identity more, let’s dive into why change doesn't seem to last for a lot of people.
When it comes to approaching change, have you ever found yourself or others say, “It's all about your habit,” or “It's all about your behaviors.” It’s true, to an extent, but if you just try to change habits and behaviors, you’ll notice that it's start, stop, start, stop, start, stop. Really, the only reason people have habits that stick is because their identity and their beliefs support those habits.
Imagine a pyramid that's got five sections splitting it. The higher you go up on this pyramid, the more change lasts. The lower you are, the harder it is for things to change and the least amount of time change actually sticks around.
The base of the pyramid is your environment otherwise known as your circumstances. 99% of the world lives here. They say, “My circumstances need to change before I change.” Everything they do is about changing their circumstances, and what they quickly find is that change doesn't really last.
What does someone that's trying to change their environment do?
They'll buy the next fitness program thinking it's going to change their life. Then they'll join the gym and try to get abs. Right? They make all these little tweaks to make their environment better. They think that somehow by changing their circumstances, their life's going to be better. But all they really find is it's a 2-steps forward and 3-steps back dance.
Just buying the thing—the gym membership, the nutrition plan, etc.—isn't going to do anything for you. That’s just the application of it. Most people never get past this base level once they realize the change didn't work or stick.
But let's say you realize it didn't work because change doesn't work that way. You get up to the next level of the pyramid. This is where you change your behaviors (your habits), and you can start to influence your environment to change.
The trouble with this stage of the pyramid? Trying to change your behaviors to influence your environment relies on willpower… and willpower doesn’t last. It leads to burnout. People that try to change their behaviors and habits frequently suffer from burnout and they live in perfection trying to check all the boxes.
Your life will not change from checking a box. It changes when you change who you think you are.
Level 3 of the pyramid is where change starts to last longer. This is where you try changing your skills.
When you study and practice a new skill set or mindset, your behaviors automatically change. This is why in the days that you do personal development that you're getting more done in your business. Because when you change the skills or mindsets that influence the behaviors you apply, you take more action, which then leads to a change in environment.
This middle tier also comes with a drawback. Most people at this level tend to rely on studying books or listening to podcasts, and that’s when their change stops. Because you can’t study your way to success.
Onto level 4, where your focus is changing your beliefs and values.
When you change the beliefs about who you are—say you start to believe you’re an entrepreneur—what happens to your skillset? You study the skills necessary to be an entrepreneur. You study business and marketing. Through that study, your behaviors change, and you start making sales. Then your environment changes.
If you try to change a skill without changing a belief the skill won’t last. But what happens when you go one step beyond changing your belief? You hit the top of the pyramid: your identity.
But before we dig into the fifth and final level, let’s talk about values. Values, meaning the emotional states that you value keeping.
Let’s say you value success, but you also value avoiding rejection. That’s a conflict.
Humans would rather do more to avoid pain than to gain pleasure. So, they'll do more to avoid rejection than to succeed, and inevitably avoid success. Even though they're studying the right skills, they're subconsciously sabotaging themselves because they don't want to be rejected. Which means, despite studying the skills, they won’t apply them. And so, their behaviors don't change and neither does their environment.
This is just one example of the little subconscious conflicts that are hidden in our beliefs. Unless we change these, it won't matter what you study. If you want to change, you need to change your identity.
Everything rises and falls on identity because identity is the belief about who you are.
The only challenge with an identity change is that it's your identity—it's the strongest force in the human personality to not change.
You will not change your beliefs, your values, and your identity on your own. You need to go through an immersive experience where you are changing your identity in real time, surrounded by people who will support you and help facilitate your transformation.
This is why I’ve been inviting you to join us at Rewired LIVE.
The purpose of the event is changing who you think you are in a way that supports your ideal vision of the future. When you change through our immersive process, our closed-eye process, and our reflective process, you’ll really get to evaluate your life and see your beliefs start to change. And the domino effect happens in an instant!
When you identify and change your limiting beliefs and value systems, the emotional states that you want to move towards or move away from become clear. After that, you automatically study the things that will move you in the direction of your dreams. You change your behaviors and habits because your identity supports the change, and therefore your environment.
And the final piece of the domino effect? Your results change.
We’re only a couple of weeks away from Rewired LIVE. It's not too late to get your ticket, but ticket sales are closing soon!
Get my Rewired LIVE ticket: www.bradbizjack.com/rewiredlive
If you want to change your identity, beliefs, skills, behaviors, your 3D model of the world, and results in your life: You need to get to Rewired LIVE. All the information about what it's going to do for your life is available with the link above!
When your mind is wired for success, happiness, and joy—that's where change happens very, very quickly. I hope you found value in today's episode! Remember, you're only one insight away from a radically different life. I'll see you next week.
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