Welcome to The Path To Mindset Mastery! My name is Brad Bizjack! I’m a mindset strategist and coach, inspirational speaker, and creator of Appreciation Academy and I help online business owners breakthrough all the negative self-talk holding you back from your dreams so you can finally see the success you deserve!
I'm curious… when you are going through your business, do you ever struggle with meeting your upline's approval? In the way that they're not recognizing you. They're not paying attention to you.
I want to tell you a little story.
When I was starting out in my business, I remember thinking my upline, my previous upline's name (when I was in network marketing)- Jessica and she’s an amazing woman. Amazing, absolutely incredible! And I kept on thinking when I first started out, I need her to approve of me. I need her to tell me good job. It was almost like I wanted a pat on the back because I crave validation so much.
And I remember I kept seeing this trend come up in business and the clients that I work with over and over and over again…
They're saying, “Why doesn't my upline pay attention to me?! Why doesn't my sponsor pay attention to me?!”
There's this deep need of validation from their upline mentor.
And that just sabotages them!
Because here's the thing, it’s a sign that you are not taking 100% responsibility for your business. It is a sign that you need approval from others before you'll play ball at a high level.
If you think about any big business owner or think about someone in your business that is super successful… Do they spend their time focusing on how their upline doesn't approve of them or reach out to them?!
They don't have time to focus on it because the focus is not on themselves. It's on other people. If you ever crave validation from your followers or your upline is because you have an obsession with yourself and it's so important to understand that.
Have you ever craved validation from your upline or someone else or your followers? It's because you have an obsession with yourself and that is not a fun place to be. And an obsession with self does not build a big business. It does not serve people. Does that help people? No! It just keeps you stuck!
Your true ability to succeed as a business owner is completely dependent on your ability to stay in-tune with your ideal customer's deepest fears and highest aspirations.
When that is the consistent focus of your business, then all of a sudden, things start to take place because you solve their problems, they trust you, they want to join you!
Most people live lives of quiet desperation, focusing on significance and certainty, meaning I need a guarantee and I need people to tell me that I'm important and if your focus is on, “I need a guarantee and I need people to tell me I'm important.”… You're not operating the right way to build a business. Giving comes first, always giving.
You can turn it from an obsession with yourself to an obsession with helping other people!
Think about if you're ever in a situation where you see other people in your business rank advancing. If you see other people in your business rank advancing, what does that do to your emotions?
Does that make you really excited about their success and proud of them and happy for them?
Or does their success equal your failure?
Does their success equal your value?
Is there jealousy?
Is there envy?
Is there a feeling of less than because other people are succeeding?
If that's the case, who is the focus on? It is on you!
Most people lead lives of quiet desperation, focusing on being significant and needing a guarantee that it's going to be okay and that’s a recipe for a lack of fulfillment in life. You need to change the focus from you to other people and here's the thing…
External validation only comes after internal validation.
What I mean by that is you need to work on your worth first before the external validation will come. By the way, by working on your worth. I mean not just reading personal growth books and doing courses and seminars on this stuff, but applying it!
Pausing and saying… “What does this mean in my life?!”
It's not a checklist item. It's something you actually have to implement in your day-to-day life!
If you ever want this to change (and it's so important that you do) or else you will stay stuck! So why does working on your worth- internal validation come before external validation? Because what happens when you validate yourself, when you give yourself permission and you say, “You know what?! I am enough! I am worthy! I'm going to go after this with everything I've got!”
You start doing things differently, don't you?
You start getting more creative. You start taking more risks. You start doing different things that you weren't necessarily doing before and from doing that, for making those changes, you get better results!
So, you get better results and from getting better results. What happens?!
Your upline sponsor notices you! It's their job not to work with people that need their time… It's their job to work with people that deserve their time.
So, if you start showing them that you're for real and applying things in your business and getting a better result…they will start paying attention to you! They will help you grow more, but they're not going to go first and say, “Hey, let's make you successful!”
You have to find a way to do it yourself! An internal validation comes first.
Is that the strategy of your business?! If not, that’s the problem. It's the lack of worth and belief in yourself. So put work into that!
By the way, if you struggle with that, I have an online program called Appreciation Academy that will do that. It teaches you how to believe in yourself, no pressure whatsoever. But if you enter in the promo code PODCAST at checkout, you get a 50% discount on the program. Highly recommend that course! It's changed hundreds and hundreds and hundreds of network marketers lives in that sense.
So back to the main point though of internal validation coming before external validation, a lot of people will go, “I need their approval! I need them to say it's going to be okay… I need that!” YOU- Your business and their business are not the same business! You have a different business. It's time to start taking ownership of your business in your life.
Take ownership of the people you serve and stop needing their direction to do it.
Google it. Everything about how to build a network marketing business is on Google. You can figure it out. It has nothing to do with if your upline coach gives you the tools to do it, you can figure it out! I know plenty of people that have million-dollar businesses in network marketing, and they figured it out themselves by Googling and YouTube in it.
That's how they did it! They self-studied.
They figured it out, but they chose to work on themselves more than their business. In fact, put this in your notes.
If you work on yourself more than your business, your business will grow.
Let me repeat that.
If you work on yourself more than your business, your business will grow!
That's how it works. Because think about what's going on… You're acting and doing all these things from a certain mindset, probably a limiting mindset. And that limiting mindset is eating away at your creativity. So, you might be going through the motions of doing the basic business-building activities for your company or whatever you're doing, and that's great, but from a limiting mindset. You're not going to get creative with it. You're not going to try something new. You're going to keep doing it over and over and over again!
Get frustrated… then do nothing. Get frustrated… do something again. Get frustrated… do nothing.
It's not going to lead to a great life!!
You start with the mind! When the mind changes, the actions change in your business and then creativity flows. You get a better result and people will become inspired by you!
On top of that, when you work on your worth first and you start teaching what you are learning, all of a sudden people become inspired by you. For so many people in network marketing, they tried to just show off their life or they tried to post because they need to post on social media. But if you change it to teaching what you're learning and helping other people solve their problems through your growth in your story, trust will be formed.
And if you do that and do it consistently… over time, then all of a sudden you will get better results and things will change.
You do not need your uplines approval…
You need to approve of yourself!
That's where the work starts. Stop looking at it from the perspective of they don't love me. They don't believe in me.
It is on you to change it!
Hope that makes sense. So please share this podcast episode today. This is just a little jolt of inspiration for you and a reality check that it starts with you. It's nothing to do with your plan. It starts with YOU and the contribution to other people that you give instead of an obsessive focus on yourself.
Thank you so much for tuning into the Path to Mindset Mastery!
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I'll see you next week.