The Biggest Lie You Can Tell Yourself: “Success is harder for me than it is for others.”
I’d love to show you how this mindset can manifest itself in your business and what to do about it!
Welcome to The Path To Mindset Mastery! My name is Brad Bizjack! I’m a Mindset Strategist and Coach, inspirational speaker, and creator of Appreciation Academy and I help online business owner’s breakthrough all the negative self-talk holding you back from your dreams so you can finally see the success you deserve! This is the weekly spot to break through everything that’s holding you back from the life you really want!
QUICK ANNOUNCEMENT: CHECK OUT MY MINDSET FIRST AID KIT!
This is your go-to guide when you're in the dark times and you don't know where to go or how to breakthrough. It's going to teach you how to master those limiting emotions instead of just praying they disappear… Imagine being able to get back to building your legacy in seconds. Imagine what that would do for you!
Let me start with this: The past (YOUR past) is actually a blessing (no matter WHAT happened). Why?! Because it made you who you are today. The past didn’t happen to you… it happened FOR you.
Success is an even playing field. It's given to the people that learn to appreciate their life… their past, present, AND future. The lie “Success is harder for me!” disguises itself in 10 different ways and they’re all LIES…
THE 10 PITFALLS OF VICTIMHOOD MENTALITY
Living with a victim mindset is incredibly attractive because it gives you a way out of taking responsibility.
It allows you to not solve the problem.
It gives you a way out of doing something scary.
I’m going to ask you to rate yourself on a scale from 1-10 on each of these pitfalls. 10 being “This is not a problem for me.” And 1 being “Yeah, this one is a big problem for me!”
My challenge for you: Look at these areas without judgment! (If you judge yourself for your ratings, then you're not going to be able to change it.
#1: Other People
Have you ever looked at other people that are winning and you want to be happy for them, but you're jealous? Other people's successes mean possibility. It shows you what you can create in your life.
When we see other people's successes, we must learn to appreciate it instead of judging ourselves. When we appreciate other people's successes, all of a sudden, we align with being able to receive the lesson that comes from their success. We're able to see what they did and apply it to our lives. When their success equals our failure, we hold back from applying what they did because we just can't be like them.
BUT when we appreciate their success… when we're happy for them… when we're proud of them… when we LOVE them for it, it just proves to us that success is possible for us, too!
#2: Making Things Worse Than They Actually Are
“I missed my business goals in June…so I guess I’m a bad business owner! I probably can’t make my July goals, either…” NOT TRUE! You created that story because you’re avoiding. Let's say you really want to be part of a networking group, but you're afraid of what people will think of you and you build up these stories in your mind about how you don't know if they're going to like you or you don't know if you'll be able to give them something of value.
You make up these stories and then what happens?! You don’t join that networking group! You actually made things worse for yourself because you didn’t fail… YOU NEVER TRIED!
Write this in your notes: Great leaders see things as they are not worse than they are.
You have to learn to appreciate where you are and stop making it worse than what it actually is.
Ask yourself, “What am I getting out of making the story worse than it actually is?!”
A way out?
And what are the consequences of your storytelling?!
#3: Whatever I Do, It Won’t Be Enough.
My question for you: What will be enough??
Have you ever noticed the target of ‘enough’ is moving? You're basing your self-worth on something that's ‘next’, so it's impossible to hit! Be honest with yourself though, the way to combat this is realizing how much you already do! You're looking at it from the perspective of you should be doing more than you actually are right now, so you're not seeing the beauty in what you've already done!
… AND when you don't see the beauty in what you've already done, then you can't count your wins!
… AND when you don't count your wins, you don't build confidence!!
Start looking at what you HAVE accomplished and be grateful for it! Learn to be appreciative for the baby steps and the big steps get easier.
#4: If I Succeed, I’ll Screw It Up.
Uh…YES, yes you will screw it up! How do you think people become successful?!
BY LEARNING FROM THEIR MISTAKES! SO, get started!!
The screw-ups are going to teach you the lessons you need to move your life forward. You can just go around failure. You have to go through it. We all do.
#5: I’ve Tried Everything and It’s NOT Working!
Is that true? Have you tried everything?? No! No, you haven’t.
If you have tried everything, then you would be successful.
The ‘how’ doesn’t matter as much as the mindset does! 80% of success is psychology (20% is mechanics).
Just the fact that you're here means you believe you haven’t tried everything (otherwise you wouldn't be trying to grow).
#6: It's Easier for Successful People to Be Grateful.
Do you ever compare yourself to other people's highlight reels? Honestly, you have no idea the obstacles they face.
Write this down: You get rewarded in public for what you practice in private. -Tony Robbins
So, learn to appreciate the role models that are showing you what's possible and respect that there's so much more going on behind the scenes that you don't know about. They aren’t lucky. They work their ass off to find a way to get it done AND they're excited about their wins!!
#7: Appreciation Makes Me Feel Like a Fake.
What's fake about finding beauty in a tough situation??
It’s like smiling in the mirror. All these studies show that it makes you happier but in the beginning… wouldn’t it be awkward?! Yes, appreciation is the same! It’s a muscle that the more you flex, the stronger it gets!
You just need to try it and do it and get into it. Slowly but surely, you'll notice the beauty of your life come to fruition and you'll be able to notice it more and MORE!
#8: What THEY Did Was Unforgivable.
This is for the real trauma… the dark stuff you wish never happened to you. If this is you, I'm genuinely sorry that you went through that trauma, but I also want you to appreciate the growth that came from it. You need to appreciate the qualities in your life that are beautiful because of that pain. You need to appreciate how much stronger you have gotten!
(I teach the skills of forgiveness in the Appreciation Academy!)
Take responsibility for how you FEEL and go forward. Don’t let an event or a person dominate your emotional state. The antidote to trauma is forgiveness.
Remember that what they did is forgivable. It's a choice not to forgive. It's always forgivable. You can choose to forgive something you're just deciding not to (and that's okay!) There is no judgment for that. You might want to hold on to that a little bit longer because you’re getting something from it. You’re getting something from holding onto it, but when you learn to let it go, all of a sudden life gets much easier.
#9: I Can’t Succeed Because I Don’t Know How.
What's the point of even trying if you have this perfectionist mindset, right?!
Perfectionist do 1 of 3 things:
1. They don’t start (because they don't know how and feel miserable).
2. They do things perfectly and get a result (and still feel miserable).
3. Things don't align with their (perfect) expectations (so they STILL feel miserable!)
Write this down: You won't know ‘how’ until you start.
You can read every book in the world, but the greatest education comes from experience. “Success is a result of good judgment. Good judgment is a result of experience.” – Tony Robbins
Adulthood is just people trying to figure their shit out anyways. We’re ALL just trying to figure it out!
#10: I Don't Have Much to Be Grateful For.
This is dangerous territory because it's not true. It's not true!
Let me give you an example: Look around the room you're in and count up the number of things that are RED. GO!
Awesome, now let me ask you… how many things did you find that were blue? No idea, right??
Now count the number of things that are blue in the room you’re in. GO!
Where did they all come from?! They were there the whole time! You just weren't looking for them!! Gratitude works the same way. LOOK AROUND YOU.
Success is not harder for you. This is a victim mentality disguised to give you a way out of responsibility., It allows us to blame something or someone else. It might be a good short-term way of avoiding pain, but it's a long-term strategy for misery. You will end up in misery because you'll never feel totally aligned with who you truly are!
Again, make sure to check out my Mindset First Aid Kit to help with any anxiety, panic, fear, overwhelm you’re feeling during this time!
My name is Brad Bizjack.
Remember to go out there today and every day and live your life with a genuine smile on your face. You are literally one mindset shift away from doing that. I'll see you next week!