Welcome to The Path To Mindset Mastery! My name is Brad Bizjack! I’m a mindset
strategist and coach, inspirational speaker, and creator of Appreciation Academy and I
help online business owners breakthrough all the negative self-talk holding you back from your dreams so you can finally see the success you deserve!
I just want to take a minute to say Happy New Year!
I hope you're having an amazing start to the new year that things are rocking and rolling already and that you're seeing the growth that you want! Also, that you set some amazing goals, too!
My job today is to help you get there. That's what I do. I teach business owners how to be truly fulfilled and happy on the way to success. Success happens so much faster when happiness comes first. And the reason I'm here today is because I want to bring you an episode through a metaphor. You probably saw the title of this episode and you're like, what the hell is going on?! But I wanted to bring you an episode today that was all about a metaphor that I learned from one of my best friends in the world.
His name's Jim wall, so everything on the podcast episode today (I did not create this). Something that I heard from Jim- all the credit goes to Jim here!
It's so powerful and it's all about the lessons from a hermit crab. And this metaphor will allow you to see where you're at in your life right now and how to expand to the next level.
I'm guessing you want this new decade to be one of the best decades of your entire life!
You want to see so much growth! You want to see so much contribution! You want to quadruple 5x your income…10x your income. You want to do all these amazing things and guess what?! To do that it's going to require a tremendous amount of personal growth! A level of personal growth that you've never done before! A level that's going to make you feel totally vulnerable, totally scared to go after it.
That's why I wanted to start the year off with lessons of a hermit crab from my dear friend Jim wall. So let's just dive right into this metaphor. Hermit crabs are one of the few creatures who constantly change their shells throughout their life. And the reason is because as hermit crabs grow, they feel the pressure in their shell, getting too tight on them, so they fill up their shell and they have to find a bigger shell as they go through life. It's a craving to be more. That's what a hermit crab has just like you have right now in your life. You have a craving to be more…to give more…to have more…to share more…don't you?!
When you have this need to give more, what's really happening is you are that hermit crab and you're growing to the point where you're hitting that barrier of your shell. It's starting to get uncomfortable, right? You're starting to get sick of your shell. You'll need to go through these periods of intense vulnerability where you ditch your current shell (your ego-that thing that's keeping you safe can expose you for who you really are).
So many people try to build a business and they try to do it without exposing what's actually going on in their life. They try to build a business without sharing what their true struggles are and where they've been. And when you live that way, you're never going to make an impact the way that you want. So the challenge with this is that when you leave your current shell, you're exposed to all the sharks and barracudas and the dangerous fish in the ocean, right?
So, when you hit this point, you have a couple of options…
1)The choice to stay in your really tight shell in 2020.
To get nowhere, to not go out of your comfort zone, to be protected by that shell and feel like you're too big for this shell or…
2) The other choice is to risk it and assume a new identity or a new shell knowing when you're in the process of changing shells into a more beautiful, bigger one, you're going to be exposed.
Because when you grow (that's what will be required for 2020 to be the best year of your life), your shell is going to become too tight. And when you leave your shell, you'll be vulnerable, right? And the group of people with the same size shell is you are going to get really, really, REALLY nervous that you're leaving that shell.
They don't want you to change shells. They're afraid that if you change shells you won't love them anymore because they're in a smaller shell and you're in a bigger, more pretty shell, right?
And that very well could be the case- you could outgrow someone! BUT they want to claim to you and keep you in your shell where they feel like you'll want to be with them (because you're similar). And they might be worried because in the past when people they love change their shells, they no longer wanted them, so they're terrified.
But a great friend or a great partner in this will embrace their partner or their friends desire to grow because they focus on the true crab on the inside and believing in their potential.
So, if you support and encourage your partner or a friend during their time of vulnerability, they'll get into a new, bigger shell and see you and love you even more. Even though they might look a little bit different in their new shell, they're going to love you through that.
So, when you go through these periods of intense vulnerability and you grow and you change into your new shell, part of you is going to look different, right? You might carry yourself a little bit taller. You might have new opportunities, right? You might have new shell friends, new big shell friends that you've met. So you'll have a new shell keeping you safe. But deep down, either way before we grow into this, you're still the same person on the inside.
You're just more evolved! You're just growing and expanding your shell!!
If 2020 is going to be the best year of your life, you need to be around people that support you during these periods of change. That way they watch your back against the sharks and barracudas and eels or whatever the hell it is, right?! You want people that cover your back when you're in the process of changing shells and accepting the new shells of their friend and partner. Right?
So, this is where faith and trust come in for you. Because if you are growing and changing, you need to trust that you're going to love other people on the way and your friends, and the people close to you need to trust that you're still gonna love them. Because if you or your partner don't support the other and changing to their new shell, then the person changing shells is going to feel hurt.
And if that happens, it's like a dagger in the heart because if your spouse hurts you at your most vulnerable time (during your shell change), you don't have the of the new shell, so it hurts even more. So, the crap that's changing can either keep changing and trying to inspire their partner even though they feel the pain, or they can go back into the old shell.
Going back into the old shell is a worse choice because you ended up staying in your shell and the whole life that you have, there's all this pressure built up because you could have expanded shells, but you didn't. Have ever been at a bar and you've seen those old guys talking about their wife, “the old ball and chain” keeping them stuck, complaining about their wives and it might be a jump, but deep down there's a more serious issue there.
It's because their whole life, they've refused to change shells because they've been afraid that their wife will criticize them when they change shells, so they stay in their old shell.
Let's be real…Why don't people leave their safe shells to grow and change? Why don't you, the hermit crab, leave your shell to grow and change?
Reason #1) Spousal and family pressure, them not believing it’s cool to change shells
Reason #2) Self-confidence, not believing you have what it takes to find a new shell
Reason #3) Lack of trust in either friends or spouse or family to support you during that vulnerable phase
Reason #4) Feeling undeserving of a new shell
Reason #5) Using food or alcohol or sex addiction or pills to numb the pain of a tight shell, so you don't even realize you need to change
This is why people don't change! Eventually at some point our desire to grow can atrophy and we will shrink back into our old shell. So, we stayed there. Plus remember that it's so much easier to justify staying in that shell when you're hanging out with other people that have also decided to stay in their shell.
Misery loves company!
AND here's the thing…if crabs had doctors, they would never grow into new shells. Why? Because when humans experienced the pain of growing and they hit that outer shell, they might go to a doctor and get treated because they're feeling anxious because they're so closed off and claustrophobic. They have no more room for growth in their current shell!
So, they'll go to a doctor and talk about these problems and they'll get medication to make the symptoms of anxiety and depression get better. But all this does is keep them in their shell because it numbs them to the pain of growth. And then they put a label on it. You suffer from X, so you can't leave that shell and grow and change. The crab physician might have the intention of keeping you around as a patient, or maybe they only have a certain number of skills to try and serve someone. So, the physician might focus on the symptoms the patient is experiencing when deep down the crap just wants to grow into a new shell!
Think about addiction…oftentimes with addiction, we treat the symptoms instead of unraveling the source of it. And in a lot of cases it might just be someone who wants to get into a new shell. Not all cases, but some, right? So, the reason we choose a new shell is because it's stronger! It's stronger in the places that the old shell was weaker. This is why you want to grow! You want to become stronger. The new shell gives you more power to deal with the old problems you used to face. That's what a new shell does!!
You need strength and power because 2020 will have new challenges!
The point is that we're always meant to be growing and the pain of growing is good because if you avoid the pain of growing, you'll stay stuck in that tight ass shell. And you'll either resent life or use medication to numb the pain of growth.
You should always be seeking out new shells on a constant basis. It's never a perfection! You need to go into 2020 being okay facing new challenges. There's no such thing as a perfect shell where you have it all figured out. And if you spend your time waiting for the perfect new shell to come around, you're going to miss out on all the growth you can be experiencing in the meantime.
My point with all of this is that life is about changing shells, being vulnerable, surrounding yourself with other shell changers who have your back during the vulnerable times. In fact, you should even pay for a crab shell change coach, right? Why should you pay for a coach? They're trained to see your shell from the outside, maybe the backside of your shell that you can't see your blind spots to point out the vulnerabilities where you can grow even more that you might not even notice in your shell!
All of this to say that 2020 is here and you're going to need to do something courageous, something BIG, something different that inspires you to get out of that shell! Do something NEW to challenge what you've always known. And so I always tell my clients this, if it feels not okay in your heart and it's scary, it's probably not a good fit. If it feels right in your heart and it's terrifying, then it's probably an amazing fit. And if it feels right in your heart, but it's NOT scary…it's a sign to play BIGGER.
So, take an analysis, what do you need to do in 2020 to grow and expand your shell?!
What do you need to do to get to another level? You’re feeling the pressure of your shell and it’s built up all around you. It's time that you expand! That shell can only serve you for so long. And when you do that…the game changes forever!
Thank you so much for tuning into the Path to Mindset Mastery! I hope this was helpful this week!
Also, one of the things I'm doing every week is I'm doing a drawing for an Amazon gift card. So, if you go to the podcast on iTunes and you leave a rating (a star rating and a review), then email me [email protected] and say “Hey, this is my name, here's my email. I did the thing!” I’ll go in and verify it and you get entered into a raffle to win an Amazon gift card! Super awesome!!
It takes two minutes of your time. But I'm just trying to grow this thing so it reaches more people and we can help serve more people with mindset. Help them break through. And that happens through you guys sharing this is making a profound impact on your life
I'll see you next week!