Welcome to The Path To Mindset Mastery! My name is Brad Bizjack! I’m a mindset strategist, and coach, inspirational speaker, and creator of Appreciation Academy and I help online business owners silence all the negative self-talk holding them back from their dreams so they can finally see the success they deserve.
Do you see your emotions like a virus? Something that needs just to run it’s course before you can get back to the real you? Almost like you feel out of control. And when life happens, you feel like there’s nothing you can do about it? Your negative emotions dominate you, and you don’t know how to break through them?
Today’s about navigating that. Because I never used to understand how wonderful negative emotions are! They would just consume me. And from what I’m gonna teach you today, you’ll not only learn how to control your emotions, but you’ll also never run from them again. It’s gonna be powerful, so strap in.
Put this in your notes: It’s a delusion to believe that your emotions are out of your control and just something that just spontaneously occurs as a reaction to the events in our lives. Now you might not believe me, and that would only be because you’ve never learned how to break through them before.
It’s a limiting belief that you don’t control your emotions. In fact, you create every feeling you feel!
So let’s do an exercise. Go to the worst memory of your entire life and picture it all over again as if you’re there. And feel it. Relive it. Repicture it. Hurts don’t it? Stay there. Think of all the pain it caused you and how your life is stuck because of that memory. Go back there and just let it suck for a few moments. What do you feel?
Now, go to the best memory of your entire life and feel that too. Relive that moment. Smile the same way. Experience the memory in your mind like it’s happening all over again and feel it. Is it when you had your first baby? Is it when you said, “I do?” What’s that moment for you. What do you feel when you focus on that moment?
Something totally different, right? Why? Because whatever you focus on, you will feel. If you focus on what’s missing from your life or what you’ve lost or the past, you’ll feel so down, so negative, so depressed. It won’t even matter if you’re taking antidepressants. You’ll still feel depressed.
So what does that teach us? Focus equals feeling.
My question for you: Are you truly living with the emotions you want to feel daily? What if you could?
In your life, you’re going to experience pain. And pain is a good thing because it causes us to move. There’s nothing wrong with experiencing pain. In fact, it’s guaranteed to happen. Pain in life is guaranteed. It’s coming. But suffering from that pain is your choice. It’s up to you. And it’s optional.
This podcast is all about mastering your emotions and using your emotions as a tool for you’re your success, including the negative ones.
Negative emotions are a call to action for your life. And positive emotions are a reward for how you’re living your life. Every single emotion you feel is a message for you that you’re either doing things right, a positive emotion, or that you should change something, a negative emotion.
So whatever you’re feeling at any time is never based on the actual experience, but your interpretation of our experience. It’s the way we represent our experience, how are we telling ourselves to react.
So if something is a negative emotion, my challenge to you from now on is to welcome it and learn from it. Because think about it. Let’s use the example of anxiety.
If you focus on how you shouldn’t feel anxious, resisting that emotion, and wishing life were different, does the emotion get lighter or heavier? Heavier! It gets worse by making it wrong.
But if you focus on noticing that you’re feeling anxious, and asking what it might mean and how you could benefit from this emotion, does the emotion get lighter or heavier? Lighter! And it goes away faster!
So the key to getting rid of your negative emotions is to welcome negative emotions and to learn from them! Stop denying them! Because whatever you resist, what? Persists.
So how do you currently deal with negative emotions? I’ll show you how people deal with them.
They avoid situations that could lead to pain and rejection. It’s used to protect you, but it keeps away everything great.
They pretend things are just dandy even when they’re not. They pretend life is perfect all the time. But on the inside, they’re dying. And the emotions only intensify because you ignore it. This is what I used to do when I would use positivity as a coping mechanism for pain.
This is probably the worst of them. It’s when someone uses their emotions as a tool for significance. They make their emotions the worst. It becomes part of their identity, and they pride themselves on feeling worse than anyone else.
You don’t run from them. You don’t pretend they’re not there. You don’t make them worse than they are.
So how do you break through to number 4? By realizing that all emotions serve you.
Your negative emotions are very, very real. You just felt them a minute ago. It’s about elevating higher than the emotion, realizing that you are not your emotions, and using your negative emotion to create positive change. A negative emotion is a call to action for your life. They’re wonderful things! Negative emotions are really just great calls to action to change your approach. That’s it! If you’re angry, ask what it means… don’t get mad that you’re mad.
If you suppress your emotions and try to drive them out of your life or if you’re magnifying them and allowing them to take over everything, then you feel like you have no control when in reality, you’re face to face with one of life’s greatest resources.
Your negative emotions are one of your biggest allies! Because they’re telling you what needs to change to live the life you want!
So you can feel any way you want at a moments notice. Remember, if you stop denying the negative emotion, get grateful for the emotion, and learn from the emotion, you’ll feel happy! For most people, they need something to happen first before they feel good. Like a rule exists in their life that they can only smile if X happens.
Please understand that nothing needs to happen for you to feel happy, and as long as you structure your life in a way where your happiness is dependent on something else, you’ll never be fulfilled. You don’t need a reason to feel good. You just need to learn from your negative emotions, so you feel positive more often.
So with this, wouldn’t you agree that how you feel at any moment in time is really the result of the meaning you’ve given to the experience you’re going through?
I always give this example, but if a man opens the door for a woman, and she’s happy, why? It’s not because of the event. It’s because of what she associates him opening the door to mean. If he opens it and she’s pissed about it, thinking “I can get it myself…” the event never changed… just what she associated with the event.
So whatever you’re feeling at any time is never based on the experience, but our interpretation of our experience. It’s the way we represent our experience. So if something is a negative emotion, don’t deny it! Welcome it and learn from it.
The best ways to change your negative emotions is a simple process.
1.) Welcome and notice your emotions.
2.) Get grateful that these emotions are serving you.
3.) Get curious about what this emotion means for your life. Ask how you can use this feeling to change your life!
4.) Take action to change your life, and the result is a new emotion.
What used to take you a week to bounce back from can take you 2 minutes!
Let me give you one more example. If your spouse is quiet… does that mean they’re mad at you? Or is it that they might be caught up in something? Did they maybe have a bad day at work and just need to feel more attention from you? There are countless meanings.
Actually asking yourself what that emotion really means helps you control your response to it! So assess it and take action on what you think it really means. Just pause for a minute. If you become less reactive to emotions and more proactive, your life changes. Not only with your feelings, but all parts of life!
Getting curious about your emotions and using them helps you master the emotion, solve the challenge, and prevent the same problem from happening again in the future.
It’s not about vanishing negative emotions. That would be totally fake. It’s about using your negative emotions to create positive change.
Anxiety is normal. Living in anxiety is a choice.
Depressed states are normal. Living in depression is a choice.
I’m not saying that there aren’t biochemical challenges that make those situations worse for some people than others. I’m saying empower yourself through it. Don’t use it as a way out of taking responsibility. Take your control back because you can.
There’s nothing wrong with disempowering emotions. But your life will suck if you choose to stay there.
You just need to take a higher approach to life. When you’re caught up in how you feel, it feels like you’re fighting a ghost to try and solve it. But when you elevate your life a little bit higher, and almost like remove yourself (or become higher than the problem), you see that it’s never really worth getting stressed about.
You’re breathing. You’re alive. Isn’t that enough to smile about? And if you’re smiling, life gets so much easier so quickly!
Most people lead lives of quiet desperation. They think life just happens to them and don’t realize that life is always happening for them! And that includes your emotions!
Successful people use their emotions. Successful people choose to own their emotions. Your life will change very, very quickly when you do this.
Because, my friend, you have one shot in this world. That’s it. Just one. Wouldn’t it be awesome if you lived with a smile on your face most of the time? It’s such a cool place to.
People ask me all the time how I’m this bubbly and happy all the time. I just taught you. It’s because instead of my positivity being a coping mechanism for pain, it’s not that my positivity is a true byproduct of using my negative emotions as an ally instead of an enemy. And the life I’ve created from it is pretty frickin amazing. Yours can be too. Use this.
So, if you found value in this today, head over to iTunes and give this podcast a rating and review. The higher it’s rated, the more people it can serve. And of course, share this with the people that need it most. Screenshot it. Put it in your IG stories. Share this message with your team and others who need it today!
You are the master of your emotions. Don’t diminish one of life’s greatest resources.
So, thanks so much for listening to The Path To Mindset Mastery! My name is Brad Bizjack. Go out there today and every day and live your life with a genuine smile on your face! Because when you control your emotions, that’s really easy to do!
See you next week!