Welcome to The Path To Mindset Mastery! My name is Brad Bizjack! I’m a mindset strategist and coach, inspirational speaker, and creator of Appreciation Academy. I help people to elevate their relationships, career, and mindset to the next level.
What if I told you there's a math equation that could tell you if you are going to be happy, unhappy, or suffering?
Happiness, unhappiness, and suffering are states which are all predictable regardless of their circumstances.
Today's lesson is so incredibly important, as without happiness what do we actually have? I think back to times in my life where I was experiencing a lot of negative emotions - anger, upset, frustration, unhappiness and I thought it was because bad things were happening to me. What was actually happening was that the happiness equation was not being met - happiness was always within my reach, as it is in yours.
Let's do an exercise...
Think of an area in your life where you currently feel happy. Could it be your business? Finances? Spouse? Family? Hobby? And how think of the reason why you feel happy about this area.
When I ask this question I often get reasons like these:
"Business is booming."
"I feel appreciated by my spouse."
"I have had some quality time with my family."
Whilst these are great reasons, I would argue that the reason for your happiness is actually this:
Your life conditions (LC) equal/lean towards the way you think your life should be (your blueprint of life)
Life conditions = Blueprint
Now think of an area in your life where you feel unhappy. Why is that?
Is there not enough money in your bank account? Did you argue with your spouse The reason you are feeling unhappy is because the way your life is does not match how you think it should be.
Finally, what is an area of your life you consider yourself to be suffering? I would define suffering as negative emotions surrounding an area consistently, getting more intense over time. You might find you aren't suffering in any areas currently which is great news, my friend! If this is the case consider a time you have suffered.
Why are/were you are suffering? You guessed it - the way life is doesn't match the way you think it should be AND you think there is nothing you can do about it.
The good news about this part is that you can definitely do something about it!
Here are 3 ways that people tend to handle these states:
The most common way that people handle these states is blame. They blame people, events, and themselves. Why? Blaming people and events removes responsibility and gives us a way out from the truth that we are 100% responsible for our lives. Blaming ourselves feels good because feel as though we are taking responsibility.
However, self-blame and taking responsibility are very different matters:
Self-Blame: Focuses on the past and what went wrong.
Responsibility: Focuses on the future and what we can do about it.
2. Change your life conditions
Another method is changing our life conditions:
Want more money becomes finding ways to make more money.
Wanting to be fitter becomes starting a new exercise regime.
But what if we cannot meet the conditions we need today? e.g. Lose 100 pounds today.
Can it be done? Theoretically yes, you could cut off your legs.
Would it be sustainable? No.
Would it make you happy? NO!
Which leads us to the most empowering way to find happiness...
3. Change your Blueprint
If you are an unhappy person on a regular basis, it's time to change your "shoulds" or expectations. You need to change the meaning you are giving your circumstances and see the beauty in the life areas you are suffering. If we start looking for the gift we have in our problems we start to see the lessons the universe is teaching us.
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