Today we’re diving into the most important choices you can make in your life, or rather, the second most important choice you can make in your life.
The number one most important choice of your life is the emotional state you choose to live in—notice I say choose, because you can literally choose your emotions and that’s something we’ll dig into more next week. The third most important choice you can make is who you decide to marry.
But what about the second? What could be more important than choosing who you marry?
It’s who you spend your time with. Your peer group.
This is, without a doubt, one of the most impactful and important things you can master in life.
Most people think when it comes to peer groups that it's just something that you happen upon. It’s not. It’s intentional. It's something that you have to choose to create. Yet, most people feel like they don't deserve to be in a great peer group or feel worthy of a great peer group.
They're wondering, “What value would I add to a great peer group?” or because they're so focused on their own significance, they hide in a corner to protect themselves. They’ll even start to rationalize it by saying, “Well, I'm an introvert. I don't want to put myself out there!”
Here's the thing: it doesn't matter if you're introverted, it matters if you want your life to change.
Your life is a direct reflection of the expectations of the people you surround yourself with.
I rate peer groups higher than marriage because you’re only spending time with one very important person, and that matters in the long run. Imagine you have a negative marriage or challenging marriage. If you’re surrounded by that one person on a regular basis, with no one else to motivate and inspire you regularly, what will happen? You’ll find yourself dragged down, and then won’t be able to influence the marriage to improve.
But when you include and are around other successful, happy, vibrant people what happens? You’re inspired and get ideas to heal your marriage! Not only that, but your energy and ideas of possibility aren't skewed by someone that might be thinking small.
Most people’s peer groups are just their spouse and kids, which is a massive mistake quite literally asking to stay in mediocrity. I'm not saying that your spouse and your kids are the definition of mediocrity. I'm saying that when you get caught up in the responsibilities of simply living a life at home, your dreams start to dissipate.
That’s because you're not surrounded by people that are thinking differently, you’re around people who’ve thought the same with you for years.
In that peer group of spouse and kids, it’s easy to go through the motions of life. And life becomes about taking care of your little family. That’s not a bad thing, but it won’t lead you to massive success. Likewise, you could be in a space where you need to find a success partner. Yet, all the people you attract seem to either rely too heavily on you and force you into a mentorship role. Or you’re dragged into a cycle of negativity and never feel like you’re drawn to create ideas.
But there are people in the world—me being one of them—that are surrounded by successful and happy people on a daily basis. 99% of the conversations I have are with people that are more successful than me or people that have success in different areas of their life than me.
It has completely changed the way that I view my life because all it takes is one little conversation, one insight, or one idea that can change everything.
A month or so ago on our show, I spoke on the patterns of peer groups and the 5 levels influence you encounter. You’ve most likely heard your life is a reflection of the 5 people you spend your time with. In fact, I’m willing to bet your income is about the average of the five people you spend time with outside of your spouse and income. The same with your level of happiness.
You may be in a place in your life where this is true, but also have friends that are way more successful and happier than you. You catch up every month or so and can pick up right where you left off with no problem. But here’s the problem: You’re mistaking frequency for depth. There’s nothing wrong with having a deep friendship, but it’s who you are influenced by on a daily recurring or regular basis that holds more weight in your life. More than any deep friendship ever could.
It's important to understand the difference between a friend and a peer. A friend is someone who supports and loves you and might challenge you every now and then. When you deal with a challenge, they’ll say something like, “I'm sorry, you're going through that. How can I be there for you?”
If you’re dealing with a challenge, a peer will say, “Okay, noted on the challenge. What the hell are you going to do about it?” They have empathy but they also don’t allow you to stay stuck. A peer empowers you to step up in a bigger way than you ever have before.
When you’re not constantly surrounded by those people on a regular basis, you'll find that you are dragged down consistently. Yet, most people don’t put intentionality behind their peer group.
Write this down: There is no greater life hack in the world than selecting your peer group intelligently.
When you are around people that expect you to thrive, guess what? You step up and you thrive. You find a way. The reason for this is because we fear losing love. A peer is someone who you’ll change your identity to be accepted by—and that’s a big deal. Identity is the strongest force in human psychology to keep you in the same place. And it’s the strongest force in human personality to stay consistent with who you already think you are.
So, when you have a high performing peer group, you are willing to change your identity because you fear not having their acceptance. Does that make sense? Now most people think this is something that just magically happens—it won’t. You need to intentionally be in the room with these people. But where are these rooms?
You’ve heard me talk about Rewired LIVE. That’s our only in-person live event of the year that’s coming up. If you haven’t gotten your ticket yet, you can use the link below.
Rewired LIVE Ticket: https://www.bradbizjack.com/rewiredlive
I mention it because that is a place where you find your peer group. That’s where you find other high performers who will empower you and hold you accountable.
Now let’s go through the 5 levels of peer groups. Be honest about where you are. Self-honesty is the beginning of freedom and if you’re not honest about this, you’ll rationalize that everything is okay or why your situation is different. That’s toxic, and it will only lead you back to the way things were.
Level 1 Peer Group
Your immediate family makes up your peer group. You have a couple of good friends who you talk to occasionally, but not frequently. You have different dreams and are in different places.
If those same friends are anything like you, and they’re not more successful than you, you need to get higher level peers. Peers should be more successful than your friends. In most cases, peers often become friends, but friends rarely become peers. Additionally, if you’re surrounded by only immediate family on a regular basis, there is no external force pulling you to be better like a peer group—which is built on growth—would.
When it comes down to it, if you don't have the support of the people that are in your life on a regular basis, it's a sign that your peer group is not big enough.
Level 2 Peer Group
You’ve realized you need to grow and be around more people and search for success partners. You select your peer group by finding those—who, like you—want accountability.
But if your goal is accountability that means you’re not taking responsibility for your accountability. It's a sign that you’re relying on someone else for accountability and consistency. When you rely on other people for that, you'll find it's never enough because it's not coming from within you.
These types of peer groups aren’t about an expansion of ideas, giving more, or becoming more. It’s about pain avoidance, and you’ll often find these people complain more about their circumstance, than offer solutions or empowerment.
Level 3 Peer Group
You’re the mentor of the group. You consume growth on a regular basis and give that growth to other people because you want other people to be better.
This place can feel nice, but in the end, it becomes exhausting because your cup is never being poured into. All your energy is pouring into others, and those others come to depend on it. Not only that, but you’re never getting poured back into by other people more successful than you.
And that’s the key: surrounding yourself with people who are more successful than you.
Here’s the thing about being at level 3 or 2. You are consistently getting pulled back to mediocrity and it's exhausting. It leads you to rationalizing that it’s harder for you and other people don’t understand your situation.
The only reason it feels that way is because you haven’t put yourself in the room where successful people are. When you’re around successful people and in a community of abundance and service, you’re lifted up by those people. Which is why you want to find a peer group of 4 and above, because those peers are obsessed with helping others win and succeed. To be with those people, you go to the places they go and get in the room with them like at Rewired LIVE.
Level 4 Peer Group
You’ve invested in getting in the room where people who are more successful than you—financially or in other areas of their life—are in. At this level, your focus is about what you can give and being open to receiving the people who are more successful than you.
Surrounding yourself with these people and putting yourself in these rooms immediately starts to quantum leap your business, income, marriage, etc. because what you view as hard, they do with ease. And they share those insights that cut months and years of trial and error from your life. It’s a game-changer, but you must accept it doesn’t come for free.
Expecting it to be free is delusional. At this level you’re investing in speed and shortening your learning curve.
And if you value your time more than you value your money, you will find that you have plenty of both. However, most people choose to value their money over their time and that's why they have very little of both. Why? Because money is an abundant resource that replenishes on a regular basis and time is a scarce resource that you're losing by the second.
Level Five Peer Group
You’ve made an investment to get in a room that’s incredibly uncomfortable to be in. It’s where you’re the dumbest person in the room, and everyone else is far more successful than you in every way possible.
This is the group where you say to yourself, “Oh my goodness, how am I here?!”
Putting yourself in a space where you need to do a courage spike changes your perspective. It makes you realize, despite your success and the great place you’re in, that you’ve been playing it small… The beautiful part? Even though it’s nerve-wracking, it’s where your mind expands and you’re able to see everything that is still possible for you—and it’s greater than you could have ever imagined!
If you’re in a place right now where you’re at a Level 3 or below, or you’re at a Level 4 and want to keep that going because you know how amazing it is…
It’s happening on May 11-12 in St. Louis, MO and it’s a 2 day fully immersive event where you’re going to create the 6-figure success story you deserve.
This is where you rewire your mind for financial abundance, lasting happiness, and success. You’ll literally walk away with the training I used to create a multi-million-dollar income while traveling multiple months out of the year and still being a present parent and husband. This training has only been available to my $80,000/year 1:1 coaching clients—but I’m bringing it to Rewired LIVE.
This is not something that’s found in my online courses. It’s something so much deeper.
If you feel like you’re spinning your wheels and wondering why success is harder for you. If you feel like you’re missing something, or your big goals are evading you… then you have to get in the room where change happens. It’s the place where the next step in your transformation is. We’ll be doing deep closed-eye processes that will transform your identity so that your 6-figure dreams come true this year.
This is my only live, in-person event of the year that’s available to the public. If you want to expand your peer group, you’ve got to get to Rewired LIVE. Tickets are silly cheap right now, so make sure you use the link below to get yours!
Get your Rewired LIVE ticket: https://www.bradbizjack.com/rewiredlive
Thank you so much for tuning in today, and as always, remember that you’re only one inside away from a radically different life.
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