The real cause of your negative self-talk didn’t originate from you. It is, however, reinforced by you every day. Today, we’ll discuss the actual cause of negative self-talk—from a high-level perspective to ground level—and how to break through it to achieve the 6-figure success you deserve!
To discover the main source of negative self-talk, it’s best to start at the highest level: the ego.
The ego, aka Everyone’s Greatest Obstacle, is the voice of protection in your head. Its job is to keep you safe, because all the limiting voices that keep you stuck, likely weren’t even yours to begin with. Be that as it may, your ego will always try to fight and claw to keep you in the same spot as all those limiting voices, because their narrative has played so long in your head it’s adopted them as the truth.
Staying at a high level, if we were to look at where these limiting voices originated from to influence your ego, it comes down to three areas:
If you can reframe these limiting, negative voices as the ego trying to protect you from getting hurt again, then change can begin. But not without its challenges.
Because these negative self-talking voices come up so often, what typically happens is you seek to confirm your limitations because they’ve grown to make you feel safe. This is confirmation bias, and it’s more destructive than you might think.
For example, say your limiting voice is that you can’t trust anyone. It originates from an extreme situation in your past, and was reinforced by people you were surrounded by. You even had a parent that always taught you to be safe and protect yourself.
Now think about how you would act in your life given this limiting belief. You’re always going to play not to lose instead of play to win. You’ll never choose to expand. All of which means, you’ll stay stuck.
And then what happens? You get results that reinforce the limiting belief and negative self-talk. And because you fear the limiting belief being false, you’ll surround yourself with people who believe similar things and get additional consistent conditioning from your environment. This is the true harm of confirmation bias—it’s great at what it does, which makes it much more challenging to overcome.
But it can be overcome.
I used to have a belief that money was extremely hard to make, that once you had it, it would disappear, and if you didn’t have a lot of it, you couldn’t be happy. This belief led me to feel like nothing was ever enough, and that I should be making more of it. I was gradually becoming more and more resentful of my existing circumstances.
When I started to challenge myself to really look at these limiting beliefs, I asked myself when did I decide money was hard to make? And I realized something really powerful. It was never my belief to begin with, but my dad’s. I realized, my entire life up until that point was driven by a belief that wasn’t even mine! Which is why I want you to challenge your limiting beliefs and negative self-talk, because chances are, they’re not even yours.
Truthfully, this is where most people live; unwilling or not even thinking to challenge their negative self-talk and beliefs like:
I need to learn more to be successful
It’s all on my shoulders
I need to work harder to achieve my goals
Money is too hard to make
I should be farther along than I am
When left unchallenged, these start to feel like the absolute truth because your mind has become wired over time to be this way. It’s your default setting for life, not because it is, but because you’ve practiced it so often. Whatever your loudest negative self-talk is, think of it as the headline or descriptor for how your mind is currently wired.
If your mind is wired for negative self-talk, how can you ever expect to become successful?
Most people will approach changing these limiting beliefs and negative self-talking voices by trying to think and do what a 6-figure high performer does. However, when enacting this plan, a natural wall arises to stop you. One that you don’t even know about. Why? Because 95% of your actions and habits are unconscious and caused by your subconscious mind—which is exactly where those limiting voices have been playing on repeat for years. The other 5% you’re putting into changing is all conscious effort; it’s your willpower and thoughts. That still means when you’re trying to think and act like a 6-figure high performer, you’re only using 5% of your capabilities to make it happen.
Your success is 100% dependent on the limiting beliefs, negative self-talk, and toxic thought patterns hiding in your subconscious mind, or rather, your blind spots.
So what does it take to overcome this subconscious limiting behavior? Rewiring your mind.
Rewiring your mind is the only way to overcome your limiting beliefs and negative self-talk to create the success you want in life. All my talk above might have felt a bit doom and gloom, but rewiring your mind is actually incredibly easy and simple. It only feels hard to change before you do, because you’re still thinking about the change from the 95% subconscious mind that’s currently wiring you to stay in the same spot.
But one subtle shift to your subconscious mind is all it takes for things to become radically easy.
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