Video on top/ Podcast on the bottom.
If you're someone who craves success, works super hard, but doesn't actually FEEL successful, keep reading because holy bananas this will help you!
Do you ever notice that even if you're passionate, it doesn't matter how hard you work? It just seems like your dream keeps getting further out of reach, right?
You keep looking for the "secrets of self-made" people. Those words, "self-made" get thrown around a LOT.
Last week, I did a blog post called, "How To Stop Dwelling On The Past." It's critical that you check that out because it shows you how to OWN your life. When you actually take 100% responsibility for your life, you start to realize that YOU are the reason you're at where you're at.
YOU ARE THE REASON THAT YOU'RE:
Either way, it's YOUR responsibility for being in that spot.
You're looking for the answer to "How do I become self-made?"
I worked in the corporate world and immediately wanted something different (nothing wrong with a corporate job. It just wasn't what I was after). I found network marketing and that was my vehicle for creating a new "life by design." I worked REALLY hard at it. I put in hours and hours every single day. I wanted to feel successful SO badly. I'd do all the right activities, but each time I tried, it seemed like something went wrong.
I even hit a point where I found myself on the couch wallowing in my sorrows. I wanted life to change, but I had NO ENERGY, NO PASSION, and NO FIRE to do it. I'd wonder why my life wasn't where I wanted it to be, but I didn't change it. THEN, on the rare occasion when I DID get my ass moving, nothing worked.
Everything feels forced when you live like that.
There's a reason I was stuck.
You are WAY too emotionally attached to the idea of success. You're so attached that you're actually pushing it away from you.
Disclaimer: That doesn't mean you shouldn't be passionate and excited about goals. It means you shouldn't have your happiness DEPENDENT on your goals.
When you're in a state of "ABSOLUTELY MUST HAPPEN NOW," how do you feel when you come up short on a goal? Pretty horrible, right?
Your self-worth takes a nose dive. Then you procrastinate. Then you get horrible results. Then your mind floods with negative self-talk. Then you start actually to believe you're not capable, when it's a load of B.S. Does this sound familiar?
And when you try to build a business/ career/ relationship/ body from that state of mind, isn't it SO HARD to try and figure that out? It seems IMPOSSIBLE. Because it IS impossible when you think like that!
When you see your challenges as an objective question that you're on a mission to solve instead of seeing your problems as responsible for your emotional well-being, your challenges get WAY easier to answer.
HUGE IMPORTANT NOTE:
Most people don't get that. I definitely didn't! It's one of the (many) reasons I stayed stuck!
When you see life this way, it means you don't have to work NEARLY as hard for your goals to come true. Instead of slamming down on the gas pedal and wondering why you're not going anywhere, you realize that the only thing that's been wrong is that your emergency brake is on! That's IT!
You just need to release your emotional emergency brake! Put your dream on top of a hill for a second. Most people try to climb the mountain of success believing they'll only be happy WHEN they get to the top. Is that you?
Your problem: That's the same thing as intentionally blindfolding yourself before climbing Mount Everest! Follow this metaphor:
What do you experience on a mountain climb?
You experience MAJOR obstacles! You'll definitely even go downhill BEFORE you can go uphill. What you're not realizing is that it's ALL part of the path to the top.
So what if you took that blindfold off? What if you just appreciate everything around you as you climb? What if you appreciate the scenery on the way up? What if you enjoy the journey of getting to the top?
All of a sudden, the downhill parts even become beautiful! Because it's all part of the trail! You just have faith that if you follow your hiking trail, you'll eventually get to your goal!
When you're in a mental state of "this must happen, and THEN I can be happy," it hurts your relationship with your spouse, kids, boss, prospects, teammates, EVERYTHING. It comes off negatively in EVERYTHING you do.
Reality check: Are you building your life this way?
It's time to realize that it will never work that way! Even if you stumble upon the outcome you want, you won't be happy because the scorecard you're using to measure success is unfair.
So what if you let go? What if you learn how to be happy either way? What if you take your blindfold off and make a choice to love the ups AND the downs? What if you commit to achieving your goal, but not having your happiness dependent on your target.
Wouldn't you be so much more relaxed/ happy/ fulfilled along the way? Wouldn't you be less hurt by challenges?
When you release that emergency brake on success and start working hard for A.) the person you're becoming B.) the impact you can make on the world and C.) the growth you'll experience, EVERYTHING you once perceived as negative becomes positive!
ALL OF YOUR "VALLEYS" ARE SIMPLY FEEDBACK ABOUT HOW TO CREATE THE LIFE YOU REALLY WANT!
When you're so attached, it creates frustration, anger, and fear. And those emotions are NOT helpful in building the life you want.
When you let go of the attachment and love the journey, it creates happiness, energy, and positivity. It creates potential. You feel ALIVE again. Isn't it SO much easier to build a life that way?
All of a sudden, you LEARN something instead of HATE something. Life's so much better that way! Achieving your goals becomes SO much easier this way!
So if you haven't caught on, the CRUCIAL mistake you're probably making is believing that your goals create success.
Success is NOT something you achieve.
Goals are what you achieve. Goals are little benchmarks that successful people accomplish on their journey. Goals have outcomes.
If you're challenged in this area of your life and you really WANT to think this way, or you WANT to instill this as part of who you are, JOIN ME. My passion and purpose in life are to give people breakthroughs in this area! Lives are changing every day, and yours could be one of them, so JOIN ME in my online course, Appreciation Academy, if you'd like to learn how to instill this way of thinking into your life.
So remember: This is NOT about achieving success. Success is a way of life. It is a decision that you make every single day.
If you keep thinking that your goals will make you successful, you're missing the point. The whole point is the person you're becoming and what you can give to the world. When you learn how to live this way, your goals come to you SO MUCH FASTER than you could ever imagine!
See you next week!
P.S. Head to www.bradbizjack.com/blog for more amazing content like this!