What's your unique success archetype? Take the quiz to find out now!
Looking for a 2-for-1 special on how to cut the learning curve to success in half? Then get special insights and perspectives from today’s unique interview from one spouse to another!
Today’s episode features a very special first-of-its-kind interview with my wife, Janiece. The goal of this interview is to shed light on how beginner entrepreneurs can shorten the learning curve to success and what qualities they might adopt or let go of to succeed faster. From Janiece’s unique inside perspective, we discuss what mistakes she saw me make and what qualities helped me thrive. We also candidly discuss spousal support and Janiece’s journey.
Mistakes By Brad To Learn From, As Witnessed By Janiece:
Janiece: The first mistake that stands out to me was you being driven by significance. When you still worked in network marketing and grew in rank, and had more success, you liked the acclaim. You got an ego high from it, and I saw your decisions being driven by your ego.
That decision making shifted overtime to be from a place of survey, and eventually, serving people. When I look at what you’ve done with Rewired, I see your heart is pure when it comes to serving people. You have found your own intrinsic joy from making other people’s lives better.
Brad: You’re right. I overvalued significance. Anyone reading/listening here that finds themselves consistently craving approval, validation, permission, and just wants to know they matter, know this; it took me years to realize that I had inherent worth. That I didn’t need to show that worth, and the more I tried, the more people could sense it.
To those same people I would recommend doing inner work. Do the work that will heal what is causing those feelings. Remember, any trigger you have is just a sign of a piece of your heart that hasn’t healed yet.
Furthermore, you will never thrive in business if you are focusing on what you can get. You’ll only start thriving when your focus turns to what you can give.
2. Not Honoring Feelings & Toxic Positivity
Janiece: You had two different levels back in the day. You were either toxically positive with tears rolling down your face and a pasted grin on saying everything is great and pretending things were fine. Or you were in an absolute funk—or as we liked to call it, “funky bread days.” Those funky days, I’d find you laid out on the couch when I got back to work with microwave nachos in your lap, a bottle of wine on the coffee table, and a bad mood.
It would take days for you to get out of the second level. It was like you didn’t know how to operate in the middle, living in either one extreme or the other.
Now? You’ve done a much better job of learning it’s okay to have negative emotions. Because if you don’t acknowledge them, it’s not like they go away. They fester.
Brad: I think I’ve grown too. In fact, just this past week I had a huge 7-figure proposal crash and burn. I felt sad and disappointed—and I allowed myself to have those feelings. I didn’t make them wrong, and guess what? They passed.
That’s something we teach people in Rewired. If you deny uncomfortable emotions, you’re never going to receive the gift at the end of them. All uncomfortable emotions serve you because they’re calls to action for what needs to change in your life. And if we make emotions wrong, they only intensify.
3. Name Calling (Sort Of)
Janiece: A year or two after our daughter, Lily, was born, I called you a name… and that name was a real wakeup call for you. It was workaholic. I know it opened your eyes to see that you’d been building your life around your business, instead of your business around your life.
At the time, there was a lot of weight on both our shoulders. I was an overwhelmed new mom still struggling with my traumatic labor experience. I think you knew whenever you’d walk out of your office, you’d be walking into stress and anxiety from me. So, you doubled down on what you felt comfortable with, which was work.
But that eye-opening conversation took place after a family trip we were on, and that you chose to work during. I think it wasn’t just the “name calling” that opened your eyes, it was me saying that if the choice was between you making only $500k for the rest of your life and being more present with us, than you making $5M and working the same hours—I choose you making less and being present. The other option would leave me a married single mom… with really good alimony.
Brad: That was a HUGE wakeup call for me. I was telling myself if I worked harder, I’ll have more success and be the husband and father my family needs. After that conversation I had a big ah-ha moment knowing our little family didn’t need my profits, you needed my presence.
Now we know and teach that working harder isn’t the key to success. It’s only when you’re in alignment that fulfillment, excitement, passion, and joy can be constant companions in your life. You should always be building your business around your life, instead of your life around your business.
Qualities Of Brad To Adopt Or Learn From, As Witnessed By Janiece:
1. Delusional Drive
Janiece: Your brand of pure crazy is what I call delusional drive. You’re one of those people who consistently buys a lottery ticket and genuinely believes they’ll win every time.
There’s a quote that goes,
“Motivation is doing what NEEDS to be done when you WANT to do it. Discipline is doing what NEEDS to be done when you DON'T WANT to do it.”
Your delusional drive has that discipline, and that’s what makes it persevere through all the ups and downs.
Brad: That delusional drive only seems delusional because most people around you don’t agree with it. But I fully believe that if you don’t have a crazy compelling vision of the future—which is what fuels that “delusional drive”—you are forced to focus on the problems of the present.
2. Combination Locks
Janiece: You view success and growth as a combination lock, which is this idea of trying different things until you find what works. Where most people might give up when an idea failed, you chose to learn from them.
Everyone wants to fast forward to the end. Nobody likes the process, but that’s where all the value comes from.
3. Breaking Patterns
Janiece: For some time, you were driven by the idea of changing patterns from your past. You were really committed to breaking through generational trauma, and breaking away from a past you didn’t want to become.
What was so beautiful about that process—which is still an ever-going learning process—is that you didn’t let your focus stay on the past. Because that could have easily kept you stuck in place, instead of looking and moving forward toward your dream.
Janiece further shared her thoughts on spousal support, and the areas which she is proud of and what she would have done differently. She also shares her initial thoughts on Brad’s business.
Janiece: When Brad first told me of his idea of starting a business I was scared. He’d just been fired, and we were doing long distance. We’d been together for some time, and my mind was on our future. The idea rocked my idea of what laid ahead for us because there was no telling the stability it would or could provide. I’m also more risk-averse and conservative, which floated that fear and doubt for some time.
But I also knew, if anyone could do it—build their dream business—it was going to be you.
As for spousal support, one thing I would have done differently is defend you more for the “doubters” that were our friends and family. I also wish I would have learned to speak your language and understand what you were wanting to do sooner.
One aspect I am proud of is the way we’ve learned to communicate with each other. There were times when I was speaking out of a place of love and wanting to keep you safe, but to you it felt like I was taking digs at your dream. Being able to talk about this openly and learn how to communicate better has been such a blessing.
And finally, to wrap up our conversation, Janiece shares with us the one insight that radically changed her life!
I hope this different perspective allowed for some insights to land in a different way. Thank you for tuning into the Rewire Your Mind podcast! Be sure to check out the free resources linked above!
CONNECT WITH ME
Leave a comment on this video and it'll get a response. Or you can connect with me on different social platforms too:
• Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/bradbizjack/
• Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/BradBizjackCoaching/
• Website: https://www.bradbizjack.com/
• Blog: https://www.bradbizjack.com/blog
• Podcast: http://bit.ly/bradspodcast