A little story for you: The second I started in the corporate world in 2011, I instantly knew it wasn't the right fit. Do you ever walk into your office and ask yourself, "why am I settling for this?" or "Why am I here again?" The bureaucracy drives you nuts. Everything is an inefficient use of time. Red tape stops you from getting anything done. You feel insignificant. You feel like your opinion doesn't matter.
(Important note: This is NOT a dig on corporate America. My previous company operates this way. Some companies are GREAT, and people love what they do. I didn't.)
Something more. That's all I wanted. Do you ever feel that? You know the pull in your heart to contribute more, give more, BECOME more? I wanted that SO badly.
At the time, I figured the problem with my lack of fulfillment was my company. So I changed jobs. My boss and the new culture were great!
There was just one problem: I still felt zero fulfillment every day.
While going through my quarter-life crisis, I started building a fitness-based network marketing business with the hopes of creating my dreams, working for myself, and generating the residual income that would grow in my sleep (you know, the thing that all millennials crave!).
I had moderate success, sold a bunch of products, and built up a small team. Even though my business was NOWHERE replacing my corporate income, I pretended it was. I shared this "LIFE BY DESIGN," and "CREATE YOUR DREAMS," mentality.
I approached my friends, parents, and Janiece (my girlfriend at the time/ now wife) and told them I hated my work and that I wanted to quit. Their response?
There was no support. And three days later, I didn't have a job. I was completely self-employed. I told people that I quit corporate America to take my side business full time.
I couldn't take it anymore. I was so unfulfilled, so drained, and so sick of not living up to my potential that I finally had an honest conversation with my boss.
"Stephanie, I think you're incredible. You're a great leader, and our team is full of driven, hardworking people. I need to be honest. I have zero passion about this work and don't see myself creating a long-term career here. I'm not quitting, and I'll continue to work hard, but I know I'm meant to do something different."
I felt an instant release. I felt like I did the right thing.
I never quit corporate America. I was fired from my job and forced into entrepreneurship. It was a sink or swim moment.
Why does that matter and how does it affect you? Everyone told me that going out on my own was a horrible idea. Most people didn't support my dreams. Most people won't support yours either.
Now it's five years later, and it was the best decision I ever made. Ever since that day in August of 2013, I've been passionate and excited every day. How would that make you feel?
IMAGINE that feeling. IMAGINE the feeling of waking up passionate about what you do every single day. IMAGINE being EXCITED about your work! Feel that! What would that feel like if you knew you were doing what you're meant to do with your life?
Do you ever feel like you know you're meant to do something else (something better), but the second that idea comes up and crosses your mind, you freeze? Or maybe you draw out a plan and start to take action and then you self-sabotage?
The thing that stops you is fear (cliche, but real). It's time you understand fear, where it comes from, and how it doesn't need to hold you back. By the end of this blog post, you'll stop seeing fear as big of a deal.
Your mind does not want you to be happy.
Have you ever noticed the majority of your thoughts focus on why things aren't working or are too risky? The reason is that you're not wired to be happy. You're wired to protect yourself from pain.
At every moment, your mind focuses on what it can do to protect you from pain.
Your brain is thousands of years old. And back then, you were worried about things like, "What am I going to do for food today?" or, "How am I going to protect my family?" You were worried about the saber tooth tiger hiding in the woods trying to eat your child. Those were your actual fears.
They were primal.
They were real.
They were instinctual.
You were merely trying to survive.
Now it's thousands of years later, and you don't have to worry about the roof over your head, a tiger eating your baby or sub-zero temperatures.
But since our brains haven't evolved much, you attribute the same amount of fear to sending out a resume or a prospecting message. You assign the same amount of concern from something primal to something materialistic.
What's the worst case scenario?
When you make that prospecting call, are you going to die from it?
If your post gets zero likes, will you die?
If you quit your job, are you gonna die?
No. You'll be totally fine.
Fear is nothing more than the anticipation of pain.
I'm not saying quit and stop taking care of your family. I completely respect doing what it takes to provide. You should be smart AND make an exit strategy. Go for it with everything you've got. Find a way to break the chains of mediocrity!
Finding more motivation won't get you out of your job. A lightning bolt of motivation is never going to come and kick you in the ass. Are you guilty of waiting for it?
The truth: You'll experience more pain by STAYING at your mediocre job than by leaving it.
Question: Would you do more to protect $20,000 from getting stolen? Or would you do more to earn 20,000 dollars? You'd do more to protect the twenty grand from getting stolen.
So if you want to leave that mediocre job, you need to get to the point where you learn how to use fear instead of fear using you.
Everything you do is driven by your need to either avoid pain or gain pleasure. Think about procrastination. You won't take action because you perceive it as being more painful than doing nothing and you believe that you'll experience less pain by doing nothing. Procrastination is nothing more than a form of fear.
So, you need to learn how to associate enough pain to staying in your mediocre job instead of leaving it.
It's simple: You're focusing on why things will be wrong, how you won't have enough money, or how your kids are going to starve to death. But as I said, you'll be fine.
You're not focusing on what happens if you stay at your job? Does that ever cross your mind? So picture it right now.
Five years from now, what will it feel like if you're still waking up having the same lousy day?
Doesn't it feel like you're wasting your life?
Do you feel like you could be more but you're not?
Even though it's true, you still find yourself going to your job when you don't want to be there. You always find yourself avoiding change. Use this realization to motivate yourself! Link more pain to staying in your job than leaving it!
Make a list of how you'd continue to feel if you stay in your mediocre job!
That's the result of staying in your mediocre job!
Make an exit strategy associate more pain with staying in your mediocre job than leaving it!
Get grateful. Gratitude is a success tool. It's not some hippie, tree-hugging, yogi thing. It's REAL.
I just did a blog post last week called, "3 tips to stop self-sabotage, stop procrastination and finally experience your breakthrough." Check that post out after you finish reading this one! You'll learn the POWER of gratitude and how to use it as a business tool!
It's impossible to feel pain, fear, anxiety, overwhelm, and depression when you're genuinely grateful. IMPOSSIBLE. Try being fearful about leaving your job and grateful at the same time. IMPOSSIBLE. Try to procrastinate and feel grateful at the same time. IMPOSSIBLE.
To ease the anxiety of leaving your job, stop thinking and start feeling. Drop from your head to your heart. When you lead with your heart, you already know the answer to everything that stresses you out.
If you know you're worth so much more than mediocrity, THEN GET GRATEFUL.
Understand that it's not going to be easy. You're choosing to take the road less traveled.
When you wake up with passion every single day, amazing things come into your life faster than you could ever imagine!
You're worth so much more than mediocrity. You're meant to feel fully alive every single day.
When you understand and use fear, pain, and pleasure; when you choose to be grateful for all the ups and downs, you'll create a fantastic life.
Instead of what most people do, which is shrink their dreams down to the size of their current life, you'll do the opposite and build your life to the size of your dreams.
Someone out there needs to find the courage to change his or her circumstances. You could be the reason for their life changing! So please share this post if you found value today!
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