How many years have you reflected on the past year and set your resolutions, only to find yourself 3 weeks later, out of motivation, feeling stuck, and wondering WHY this always happens to you!
I’d either set a goal, look at it, and then think it was silly even to try OR I’d freeze in fear after I set the goal and not know why.
I got to a point where I was so sick of tired of never hitting my goals that I didn’t even set goals for myself because deep down, I didn’t believe that I could achieve them. So why the hell try?
And over the course of time and training my mindset to think differently, I realized why that was. I was setting goals from a fear-based, shitty state of mind.
When you’re in a shitty state, what happens? You set a shitty goal. And a shitty goal creates shitty action. And shitty action creates shitty results. And shitty results create shitty beliefs. And shitty beliefs lead to an even shittier state.
And the cycle compounds and continues!
Can you see why I had a hard time setting goals? So I needed to change it from the base. From the core. Which is your emotional state.
So I’m gonna take you through my personal process of goal setting, not in the boring way of think of what you want and then set a date. But the detailed version that helps you actually believe that it’s possible!
Before we do though, I’m curious:
BULLSHIT. You know EXACTLY what you want. You just don’t like thinking of the pain and fear and potential sacrifices you’d need to make to make it happen.
Let’s say, for example, that deep down you want to do what I do. You want to inspire, to motivate, to help, and serve other people with mindset. AWESOME. You probably already know that.
But what might be holding you back from admitting it to yourself is that it might mean giving up something that you’ve been doing for so long. It might mean that you need to sacrifice time away from your family. It might mean that you don’t know if you’ll be successful at it. But you DO KNOW what you want to do. Does that make sense?
So you know EXACTLY what you want already… and if you still think you don't know, ask yourself, “If I had a gun to my head, and I had to have an answer for what I wanted to do with my life, what would it be?” You know.
So I’m gonna take you through an exercise so we can turn this into reality.
Get to the base of that belief cycle we talked about a minute ago. What does that mean? If you set goals from a shitty state of mind, you’ll set shitty goals that won’t motivate you. So change your state to a state of gratitude. And if you don’t know how to do that, check out my podcast/video blog called “The Antidote To Fear And Anger” – it’ll show you in there.
But you need to get into a high state of mind before you set goals; otherwise, you’re gonna be setting lower goals that don’t excite you.
And if you don’t have a compelling vision for what you want, you’re gonna feel like you’re forcing it. You’re gonna feel like you’re pushing it to happen instead of being pulled by it.
What’s the vision for your life? Make it scary.
Don’t be stupid and say that you want to be a billionaire by next week. But don’t downplay your goals because you don’t know if you can achieve it. When you are fully aligned with what you want, you’d be AMAZED at what you can create.
Make your goal actually exciting. Would you rather set a huge, astronomical goal and come up just a little bit short? OR set a realistic goal that’s way lower than the big target you know you can hit? Even if you miss the big goal, you’ll achieve SO much more than if you set a comfortable, realistic goal.
So what do you actually want? What’s the vision for all aspects of your life? Career, finances, personal growth, spirituality, relationships, etc. Create a vision for these areas of what you want your life to look like. And yes this takes time. It takes using your dreaming muscles, which you probably haven’t exercised in a while. But you need a vision because when we break down the goals we’re going to set in a minute, they need to be leading somewhere.
Oh and PS. Don’t set a goal that you think you “should do” – meaning don’t set a goal based on what you see other people doing. Set a target based on what YOU WANT. That’s what'll pull you.
Reasons come first. Answers come second.
A cool thing about goal setting is that you actually don’t need to know how to achieve something. You need to understand why.
You’ll just do.
You don’t need a massive lightning bolt of motivation to strike you in the ass. That’s not coming. You’ll just find a way because of the compelling future that you’ll create.
And just saying that you want to create a business that allows you to spend time with your kids is not enough. It’s gotta be deep. It’s gotta be emotional. So to help you with this, I want to share something I learned from Dean Graziosi. He teaches something called, “The 7 Levels Deep” exercise. It takes you so much further into why it’s important to you than ever before. So how does it work?
You’ll be BLOWN AWAY by the things you’ll bring up! Things you didn’t even realize were there will come out of nowhere! It’s gonna rip away the layers of pain holding you back. It’s going to go from external to internal. So do this exercise and WRITE IT. Don’t think it.
I started with “pay off my student loans to create freedom for my family” and ended with “Become the breaking point of mediocrity in my family and finally believe that I’m enough, so I never have to feel worthless again." Pretty deep.
When you do this, you won’t ever have to worry about procrastination because you’ll be PULLED toward your dreams instead of forcing or pushing your goals to happen.
You have your drive, your motivation, your reasons, and everything pulling you toward your vision. Now it’s time to set some goals that will baby step you in getting there.
So you’re going to braindump EVERYTHING that would move you closer toward your goals. EVERYTHING. Even the most mini things that aren’t important.
Your goal is to create an OVERWHELMING list of things that you would need to do to bring your vision to life. And be extensive. Down the nitty-gritty details. Aim for 20-30 things on that sheet. In this step, it’s TOTALLY okay to overwhelm yourself because we’re not going to stay here.
Once you have your insane amount of action steps you’ll need to take, you’re going to pick the top 5.
Pick the top 5 things from that list that are BY FAR the most important to bring you closer to your vision.
You know exactly what they are. They’re probably the scariest. They’re probably something you haven’t done before. And because your why is so powerful, it won’t matter. You’ll just do it. SO, pick your top 5.
Then you’re going to prioritize them in order of what’s most important to do FIRST. Numbers 1, 2, 3, 4, and 5. THIS IS YOUR STARTING POINT.
Then you’re gonna set a date on number 1.
But here’s the key. When you pick a date that feels comfortable to do, you’re gonna cut it in half.
So if it’s January 2nd, and you say “Get my podcast up and running by February 28th, 2019.” That automatically becomes, “Launch my podcast by January 31st, 2019.” Don’t give yourself the easy way out here.
Have you ever studied for an exam and realized that you learn just as much in the final day before the test as you did ALL SEMESTER in class? Why?
It’s called Parkinson’s Law, and I learned this from Tim Ferriss in his book, “The 4 Hour Work Week.” Ever wonder why you get so much done before vacation? Because you have a deadline that you must abide by. Darren Hardy calls this “Success Compression.” It’s shrinking your goal into a shorter period.
You will be BLOWN AWAY by how much you get done in that amount of time. When you prove to yourself what you’re capable of in such a short period, you’re going to be AMAZED by what you can accomplish in a year.
You’re going to do this with EACH area of your life. So each big vision for your relationships, personal growth, health, career, mission, finances, all of it. Each of them is going to have their own brain dumps with their own refining and prioritization.
THIS IS HOW YOU KNOW WHAT GOALS ARE MOST IMPORTANT TO YOU. You’ll know that if you take these baby step goals, you’ll be getting closer and closer to your big vision.
Think about what’s less overwhelming… creating a business that allows you to quit your full-time job? Or getting a website up and running by January 31, 2019?
What’s more overwhelming? Leaving your job.
What’s easy in comparison? Getting a website up.
Exactly. So you can have faith that you’ll be getting closer to your big vision by setting these goals. Does that make sense?
I heard once that the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result. If you keep trying the same thing over and over and it’s NOT working, should you keep doing it? NO. Try it for a set period and then change your approach if it’s not working.
Keep your vision for what you want intact but be flexible in your path.
Don’t be attached to how it goes. If something doesn’t work, it’s only feedback. It’s life saying, “Yo - this strategy didn’t work. Try something new.” That’s ALL. It’s not “you’re not capable.” It’s not, “You’re not enough.” It’s just “Try something new.” That’s IT!
So be smart and notice the results you’re getting and change your approach until you get what you want.
And by the way, how many times should you change your approach? AS MANY AS IT TAKES. That’s what I did with Appreciation Academy. I tried something. It didn’t work. Tried something else. Didn’t work. SO MANY THINGS didn’t work.
I failed more times than I can count, but I never said that I WAS a failure. I kept changing my approach. And guess what? It worked!
(with empowering questions that lead you toward your goals)
A HUGE challenge with goal setting that a lot of people face: You don’t actually believe you can achieve your dreams.
Goal setting: Trying to create a new reality as opposed to your current reality.
The gap between where you are and where you want to be is called, “Your beliefs.” This is a whole lesson in itself, and luckily I have a podcast that takes you through this in detail called, “How To Get Out Of Your Rut When You’re Feeling Stuck.”
The whole point is that you can change limiting beliefs with empowering questions. So you’re going to write down all the negative stuff you ask yourself all the time, aka:
The list goes on…
And you’re going to flip that on its head. Turn it into the empowering alternative:
You get the point.
Make sure to listen to that podcast in detail for how this works. It’s SUPER important. Because you need to condition your mind with this daily. Record yourself saying the empowering questions that lead you toward what you want and listen to it while you drive, do the dishes, on the toilet, in the shower, you name it.
So a great way to do this is to ask, “Who do I have to become to achieve my goals?” And then ask yourself empowering questions that help you become that person.
When you combine this with the goal setting strategy, not only are you gonna be motivated to achieve your biggest dreams, but you’ll actually believe that you can. Which is why you MUST go listen to that podcast/ video blog.
Live in an empowering question closes the gap from where you are to where you want to be.
Let go of how your goals pan out. Put it out there that you want it. Go after it with everything you’ve got. But let go of the death grip of attachment to that goal.
That goal doesn’t need to come true for you to feel happy.
Go after your goals for the person you’re becoming instead of the goal itself. At the end of the day, that’s all you’re going to care about anyways! That’s all you’ll have left when you’re on your deathbed.
And doing that makes you an elevated person. And when you’re an elevated person, you’re in a great state more often.
When you’re in a great state, you set great goals. When you set great goals, you take great action. When you take great action, you get great results. When you get great results, you believe in yourself more and build more confidence. When you have more confidence and self-belief, you’re in a great state. And you set great goals.
And the cycle continues upwards instead of downwards.
This process changed my life.
I went from sometimes not setting goals at all because I didn’t think they were possible to consistently setting crazy goals that inspire me every day.
From doing this, I believe in myself more than ever. And you can too. You really can achieve amazing things. And I can teach you how.
If you struggle with belief, check out my free course called, “The Path To Mindset Mastery.” It’s completely free, and it’s so helpful in instilling more belief in yourself.
But either way, I hope you found this valuable and please SHARE THIS POST if you were inspired today!
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